Animal Crossing Oneshots
by GeorgieSusoWasSuarez
Summary: YES. I HAVE RETURNED AND I HAVE BROUGHT MORE SILLINESS, MORE RANDOM EVENTS AND GENERAL DEBAUCHERY! Requests are sort of necessary. I accept pairings, OCs and pretty much anything. REQUEST NOW WOMAN!
1. Town Gossip

A/N: My first fic for Animal Crossing LET'S GO TO THE CITY. Georgiee is my OC and here are some oneshots that I came up with. Enjoy!

~#1 – Town Rumours~

"Why are we doing this?" complained Georgiee. She'd been stood behind this tree for an hour now.

"Because," Boone explained, angrily. "Apparently, Olivia and Groucho have been meeting up in secret!"

"You say you're a real manly dude, but you have a real weakness for gossip." She frowned, folding her arms.

Boone paused for a moment.

"Just because I like to know what's going on in Leopards doesn't mean that I'm weak!"

"I never said you were weak. I said you have a weakness for gossip."

"Same thing."

"It's really, really not." Another pause. "So…how long are we doing this for?"

Boone pulled out a camera.

"Until I get a real hard-core shot of them kissing!" he declared.

Georgiee face palmed.

"You can't do that!"

"I can and I will."

"Do you want to be arrested for stalking?" Georgiee reasoned but to no avail.

"No one WANTS to get arrested, Georgiee. That's the whole point of jail. Punishment. And I won't. Unless you're a grassy ass."

What?! How dare you! I am no grassy ass!"

"Then stop whining and shut-up."

That shut her up.

"Ooh! I think they're about to!" Boone grinned, excitedly.

"Oh, God. Boone…why do you need a picture? Please don't say you're going to keep it as a memento. Please!"

"Of course not. I'm making my own tabloid. It's called 'LEOPARDS GOSSIP!"

"Why me?" Georgiee cried.

"It's the next big thing. You get a free hamburger chair. Hamburger, Georgiee. It's crazy and hip!"

"You are such a creeper." She muttered.

Then, Olivia slapped Groucho. They were arguing about Olivia setting him up with Alli. Boone squealed like a girl and took a one-way trip to Happy-Snapping-Land.

Georgiee sighed as Boone starting spouting tabloid ideas like a boiling kettle.

He skipped away back home, incriminating photos in his hand.

"They'll be no living with him after this."

**Hope you enjoyed my first oneshot! There's more to come so stay tuned!**

**And, yes, my town name is Leopards. I'll explain in another shot.**


	2. Tom and Sable's unknown love

**A/N: My nan helped me write this whilst she was hovering, cleaning and dying my hair. She's a person of many talents. I apologise for the first chapter going up twice. I am new to the site and it's hard for me. This is a request from sandydragon. Thanks for the review!**

Sable sat on the small wooden stool she sat on everyday and sewed with the same machine she used every day. It would've seemed boring to anyone else but Sable didn't mind it. She wasn't too keen on change.

Just like with Tom.

Everything had changed when he left for the city. Well, to her at least. To everyone else, it was just a small difference to their busy lives. They'd been such good friends. And, as much she hated to admit it, Sable had always felt sour about it. It was like he...abandoned her.

Sable scolded herself for being selfish. It had been Tom's dream. How could she have expected him to give up his dreams for her?

"Hey sis." Came a voice.

Sable let out a shriek at being torn from her thoughts that suddenly.

"Oh, Mable. You scared me half to death." Sable smiled at her younger sister.

"Oh...sorry." but she didn't look very apologetic. "Hey, Sis?"

Sable sighed.

"Yes..?"

"What happens if you're scared half to death twice?"

Sable frowned.

"Why do you care? And why are you asking me like I know all the answers?"

"You're the adult!"

Sable went quiet and went back to her sewing.

Mable sighed. The very reason she'd interrupted her was because she knew she was thinking about Tom. And whenever she thought about Tom she got upset. Mable hated it when her older sister got upset. She watched Sable gaze out of the window. Her gaze met Nookway and she let out a sigh.

"Maybe I should visit? Nah, he'll be much too busy to see me." Sable thought.

Meanwhile, Tom Nook was ignoring Georgiee and Puck running round his shop. Instead, he looked longingly out the window.

"Maybe I should visit? No, of course not. She'll be much too busy to see me, of all people."

He turned from the window.

"Will you stop trying to break into the Points Machine? There is NO-ONE in there!" he shouted as Puck led an attack with a shovel.

**THANKS FOR REVIEWING! AND I APOLOGISE AGAIN FOR THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES! IF SOMEONE COULD EMPLOY THEMSELVES AS MY PERSONAL TECHNICAL ADVISOR, I'D BE GRATEFUL!**

**I'm kidding guys.**


	3. Tommy and Timmy

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews Musicbee13 and sandydragon! Your support is greatly appreciated! Another request from sandydragon! Enjoy! This one is longer but that doesn't matter does it?**

~#3 – Timmy and Tommy~

Tom Nook knocked on the blue, wooden door. He hadn't seen his sister for years. The door opened and a deranged looking racoon answered.

"Tom?!" she exclaimed. "Is that you?"

"Why yes, Tracy. It's me. How are you?" he smiled.

His sister didn't even pause.

"Tired."

Tom laughed, assuming she was joking.

"Yes, quite. How are Tilly and Trudy, hm?"

"Also tired."

Tom was led into a frightfully messy kitchen. Dishes were broken, cutlery on the floor, cupboards swinging open.

"Tracy? What is all this mess, hm?" he asked.

"I've had two more children. They're twin boys called Tommy and Timmy-"

"-How wonderful!" Tom interrupted.

"And they are devils in disguise." Tracy scowled.

Tom gasped. How could a mother say that about her own children? But, to prove Tracy's point, two racoons fought their way into the kitchen. In their wrestling, things went flying from the table as one bashed the others head against the wooden table leg. The other retaliated by pushing the other into the fridge. The force caused all the magnets to go flying across the room. Tracy and Tom let out shrieks as they ducked, fearing for their heads.

"Boys! Boys! Stop it!" Tom commanded.

"There's no point, Tom." Sighed Tracy but to her surprise the two terrors were looking up at Tom, with identical looks of confusion on their scratched and bruised faces.

"Who's this…this?" they asked, simultaneously, with one slightly late than the other.

"This is Uncle Tom. He owns a shop in Leopards." Tracy explained.

Her two sons leapt onto two more chairs at the table and they looked at their uncle.

"What's it like in Leopards?" one asked.

"Which one are you, hm?"

"Tommy." He replied.

"Ah. Well, Tommy, it's very quiet but there are lots of events and festivals to keep the villagers entertained."

"Cool…" Tommy muttered.

The other, Nook knew from common sense that it was Timmy, also asked a question.

The interview went on for a while. Suddenly, two other racoons walked down.

One, with brown hair and eyes, which was Tilly, looked shocked.

"H-Have I gone deaf?" she asked, amazed at the quiet.

Tracy laughed.

"No, love. Your Uncle Tom is keeping them busy."

Tilly walked straight up to Tom.

"Do you want to keep them Uncle Tom?" she asked, genuine hope in her eyes.

"Ha, Tilly! You'd miss them if they were gone." Tom chuckled.

"Nope." The abruptness surprised Tom and Tracy was about to scold her daughter when her other daughter, Trudy, walked down too.

"What's, like, going on?" she frowned. She was different to how Tom remembered her. Last time, she had brown hair like Tilly and Tracy. Now it was blonde.

"Hello, Trudy. Do you remember me, hm?" Tom asked.

Trudy thought for a minute.

"Nah."

Tilly sighed.

"It's Uncle Tom."

"Oh, yeah. Like, hi. Where are the, like, twins?"

"They're here, Trudy. Tom's been telling them about his shop in the city."

"Like, cool." And she skulked away.

"She's…erm…changed." Tom frowned.

Tracy nodded. She was about to explain about how her once clever daughter turned into a real-life Barbie when Tommy and Timmy spoke up.

"Mother…mother! Can we go to Leopards and see Uncle Tom's shop…shop?" they asked, Tommy later than Timmy.

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him."

They turned to their Uncle, hope in their eyes.

"Well, I don't see why not. You obviously need a rest, sister. In fact," Tom had a good idea. "I'm expanding my shop today. I need someone to run the top floor. Boys, would you like to?"

The twins nodded eagerly.

"Thank you, Uncle Tom!" they grinned.

They ran off to pack.

"Wow, Tom. Are you sure? There's a chance that they will destroy everything. And that chance is as big as the sun. Probably even bigger."

"Oh, sister. Have you considered they are as energetic as they are because they are simply bored, hm? A job will give them something to do."

Tracy was about to answer when Tilly butted in.

"I think he's right, mother. It's not like there's heaps for them to do here."

"Well, go on then. It's your funeral. Quite literally." And Tracy went outside to bring the washing inside before it rained.

When the three racoons got back to Leopards, a storm was already brewing.

"Oh dear, boys. It appears you can't go exploring today, hm."

"Where are we going to go, then…then? Your shop's being rebuilt…rebuilt."

Tom frowned. He hadn't thought of that. And he couldn't take two young boys onto a construction site, could he? Tracy would have a fit. Nor could he let them play outside in a storm. They'd catch their death of cold. Which also resulted in Tracy having a fit. It seemed all possibilities resulted in Tracy having fits and possible visits to the hospital.

"How about the museum? Do you boys like things like that?" Tom asked.

They nodded and Tom led them to the museum. In the main hall, Georgiee was there, trying to calm Blathers down.

"Is everything alright, Miss Georgiee?" Tom asked.

"Not really no. It's my fault, to be honest. I should never have donated a tarantula."

Then, Tommy and Timmy walked over to the panic-stricken owl and began poking him with a stick.

"What on Earth…?" the girl turned to Tom. "Why do you have two dwarf clones? And why are they poking Blathers in the face?"

"They are my nephews, Tommy and Timmy. And, stop that, you two! Get Blathers a coffee from the Roost or something."

Georgiee sped off down the steps.

"N-N-No, I am quite alright. H-H-Hello and w-welcome to the F-F-Faraway Towers museum. D-Do have a look around. Hang on, Mr Nook. Who are these young chaps?" he stuttered, regarding Tommy and Timmy.

"My nephews. They will be working in my shop once it has been rebuilt."

"H-How nice. I'm terribly sorry for that scene."

Tom shook his head.

"It's alright Blathers, hm."

Then, Tommy and Timmy ran in with a box.

"Look, Uncle…Uncle! It's a scorpion!" they smiled.

Blathers let out a small squeak as he fainted to the floor.

"It wasn't our fault!" Tommy protested.

"Yeah! We were only trying to help the museum's collection." Frowned Timmy.

"It's alright, boys. And Georgiee and Brewster managed to wake him up. Thanks to you, they have another exhibit."

They nodded and then stopped.

"What's that place, there…there?" they asked, pointing to the Able Sisters.

"That's the town's tailors. My…friend works there."

The two ran in.

"Oh, no." Tom frowned and went in after them.

He couldn't help but laugh once her saw Mable and Sable's face when two tiny Nooks ran in to their shop.

**To sandydragon: It doesn't really explain why Nook trusted them with a whole floor but I hope you liked it anyway!**


	4. The Mayor's identity

A/N: Sorry about the constant updates! I'm just bored. This one is going to be all about the lols. Another request from sandydragon! Thanks dude! Watching the video for Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush and laughing at the messed-up dancing. You should watch the beginning with the windmill arms! Not that this is relevant. And this is getting longer than the story itself. Prepare for an unexpected ending! Some adult themes too but not sexual ones.

~#4 – The Mayor~

"MMMM! This is a wonderful Birdwing Butterfly! SNORKLE SPLURRF BLAHH!" Nat screamed, licking his face in delight.

"Agh!" Georgiee screamed.

"Ow! Stop hitting me with that net! What are you doing with that axe? Agh! I didn't mean to startle you. PUT THE AXE DOWN!" Nat screamed.

Georgiee nodded and lowered her axe. This guy the mayor had brought in for the Bug-Off was hella-creepy. Also, she had a sneaking suspicion he was eating all her entries. How was she meant to beat Limberg's entry if he kept eating all her bugs like snacks? There were plenty of oranges everywhere for him to eat.

"Nom nom nom nom! Ah, nothing like a Birdwing to fill the hunger pangs!" This little input from Nat confirmed her suspicions. She noticed Puck was watching this scene too, a troubled expression on his face.

"Seriously? Where does the mayor get these freaks?" he asked her.

"My theory is that he's a contract killer." Georgiee replied.

"WHAT? Nuh-uh." Puck denied.

Boone over-heard the conversation and ran over.

"Georgiee? Did you just call the mayor a contract killer?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, this is going in Leopards Gossip." Boone frowned, flicking open his notepad.

"Don't do that! If the mayor reads that, he'll kick me out…or worse!"

"What do you mean "worse"?" Puck asked.

"Well, he is a contract killer. He might kill me."

"Word." He agreed.

"Hey, guys! What's going on?" came Margie's voice.

"We're discussing if the mayor is a contract killer or not. I've managed to convince Puck but Boone's not listening." Georgiee told her. "But, seriously, think about it. All these people are in his murderous debt so they take part in our crummy festivals."

"That's true. Why else would anyone take part? However, have you noticed he's always sleeping? That's a bit suspicious." Pondered Margie.

"That could be due to him killing all the time." Puck argued.

"Or…maybe he's a drug lord!" Margie gasped.

"And, he could also be a user! Maybe he's taking cocaine!" Georgiee agreed.

"Cocaine doesn't make you tired." Corrected Boone. This statement was met with three dirty looks. "What? It makes you hallucinate."

"Just because he isn't playing the sitar and seeing purple elephants."

"Yeah!" Margie agreed nodding at Georgiee. "Just because he isn't in your I-Spy book of druggie behaviour!"

"Nice one." Puck grinned.

"Thanks. Anyway, people can have different effects from drugs."

"Right. Why don't you ask him, then?" Boone smirked, knowing that none of them (not even Georgiee) would go that far.

"You want us to ask the leader of this town what drugs he's on?" summarised Georgiee, just in case stupid people like Puck didn't understand.

Boone nodded.

"Alright then. Come on." And they walked off to the town hall.

Boone really to stop underestimating his friends.

The four friends opened the door to the town hall. Georgiee was a bit flustered because on the way to the town hall, Nat had chased her whilst raving about bugs. It was a good job Puck and Boone were there to beat him up and throw him in the nearby pond.

"Hello!" Pelly smiled. "Can I help you?"

"Mayor Tortimer! Can you come here?" Margie yelled. "Now I've said his name it sounds a lot like Two-Timer."

"Maybe he's a bigamist too." Georgiee added. This was the first thing she'd said since the traumatic experience outside.

"For crying out loud! The mayor is not a contract killer. He's not a drug lord, either. And he is certainly a bigamist! He doesn't even have a wife so how can he be married to someone else?" Boone scowled. He liked gossip but this was crazy.

"Well…maybe his wives are locked in the town hall cellar and he's a serial-"

"Killer." Interrupted Georgiee.

"Bigamist. And shut up Georgiee! My bigamist theory is twenty-times better than your contract killer theory." Puck argued.

"Is he still not here?" scoffed Margie.

"I'm here now, young uns. What is it?" the mayor smiled a toothless grin.

"They have some questions for you." Boone sighed, emphasis on the "they".

"Yes, we do. Are you a contract killer?" Georgiee asked.

"Erm…now? No, not anymore." Tortimer answered.

"Ok. Wait, what?" frowned Georgiee.

"Next question! Are you a drug lord?" Margie continued.

"No. I've never touched drugs. Or sold them. But I do like selling turnips. So, I guess that makes me a turnip lord! Heh heh horf!" the mayor choked.

"Well, that makes my theory correct. Are you a bigamist?" Puck glared. "You do know that's a criminal offence?"

"I'm not a bigamist. My wife died when Kapp'n ran her over with his taxi. That's why he's a bus driver now."

"Isn't a bus more dangerous?" Boone frowned.

But Tortimer ignored his question.

"In fact, I'll tell you my **secret identity**!"

"Wow!" Puck, Margie and Georgiee wowed.

"I'm SUPERMAN!" Tortimer revealed.

"What?" Boone gasped, disbelievingly.

"Yes. You heard correct. I am Superman." He nodded. "All the people who do the festivals are, in fact, villains who I stopped. This is their eternal punishment."

"That…is so cool!" Puck grinned.

Then, a mechanical whirring came from the fax machine.

"The SuperFax is faxing!" Tortimer declared.

"Actually," corrected Georgiee, holding up her index finger. "It's receiving a fax."

Mayor Tortimer dropped his heroic pose.

"Well, what's the difference?"

"Faxing is when it sends a fax."

"To…the SuperFax." But he'd lost a bit of enthusiasm. He waddled over to the fax machine or the SuperFax as he called it. "Ah! Nat or the BuggyBugMan as he calls himself, has escaped! I must go young uns! Leopards needs me!"

"Yeah. There is no way this old guy is Superman." Boone scoffed.

But Tortimer threw away his top hat and cane and leapt into the recycling bin. When he emerged, he was in a Superman costume.

"So long for now, young uns!" and he flew up a couple of centimetres before zooming out through the ceiling.

The friends watched in silence.

"Blimey." Pelly said. "He's never done that before."

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! AND PLEASE REVIEW AND REQUEST! THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY!


	5. Copper and Booker's mission

A/N: Time for Animal Crossing Oneshots #5. Request from Sandydragon regarding the Animal Crossing police force and how useless it is. If they had Damon Gant (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) everything would be better. Been swimming lately? Lol, I got him on a personality quiz. And Larry Butz. I was over the moon.

~#5 – Crazy Redd VS Police~

"Hello. I'd like to report a forged painting." Came Boone's voice.

"Ok, sir. We will collect it now!" Copper declared. He hung up the phone and turned to his partner. "Booker. Go to Boone's house or you're getting another paycut."

"Aw."

Booker had only been gone two minutes when the phone rang again.

"Hello? This is the Town Gate, Copper speaking."

"Hey! I've received a forged painting in the mail." Said Limberg.

"Really? Who from?" Copper asked.

"You, sir."

"Me, sir?"

"Yes, sir." Replied Limberg.

"Well, that's a surprise. I didn't send anything of the sort." Copper frowned. "Why! I would wager that it's Crazy Redd, my arch nemesis."

"Really? I thought it looked a lot like Georgiee's handwriting…" Limberg thought out loud.

"Well it's not! He must have something against her too."

And with that, Copper hopped into the CopperMobile and was about to set off before Booker was knocking at the window.

"Err…Copper? Where are you going? And where did this van come from?" he asked.

"Sigh. I'm going to stop Crazy Redd once and for all. And I bought it." Copper replied.

"Ok."

"Get in. I'll use you as a plant."

"Like a sunflower?" Booker frowned.

"Not really no. Now… TO THE CITY!"

**** Batman spinny logo thing ****

"Wait a minute. How did you afford this?" asked Booker, sitting in the passenger seat.

"I used your house fund." Copper replied.

"What?!"

"Quit your bitching, Booker. Now, lets chase that horizon."

** **Another spinny Batman thing ****

"We're at the city!" Copper declared, just in case Booker had forgotten where he actually was.

Which was highly possible.

"Yes. So where's this Crazy Green place?" Booker asked, looking around.

"There!" Copper grinned, pointing at Shampoodles.

"Really? I don't think so."

"Booker. There is doubt in your heart. If you don't believe in me, it will go to your hips and you'll get even fatter." He closed his eyes for effect. "And then, YOU'LL DIE!"

When he opened his eyes, Booker was stood outside Shampoodles.

"Let's roll."

When they got inside the shop, Harriet was swept off her feet with the two dashing(ish) gents that had just entered the shop.

"Hello, sugars! Can I help you two hotties?" she purred.

"What? This isn't Crazy Redd's store!"

"I told you. Sort of." Booker smiled proudly.

"Booker. I'll kill you. And then, YOU'LL DIE!" Copper scowled.

Booker sank lower than moles themselves.

Which doesn't make a lot of sense.

Oops.

"Don't worry, shug! I'll make sure you and your friend get there! And get there FABULOUSLY!" Harriet beamed.

"What?" frowned Copper. "No, we're not customers! This is all a mistake!"

"Copper…I'm scared." Whimpered Booker, trying with all his might to wiggle under the chair.

But Harrier had plonked them down on the chairs, by the mirror of course, and began giving them some odd psyche evaluation.

"Do you believe in creationism or evolution?" Harriet asked Booker.

"Copper?" he relayed the question to his partner.

"I don't know!"

**** Yet another Batman logo spin thing to make up for description ****

Copper and Booker emerged from Shampoodles with new hairdos.

Copper had a bright pink perm whilst Booker was sporting green pigtails.

"W-W-W-What was t-that d-d-d-d-demon?" Booker managed.

"I-I-I don't know. But I think I speak for both of us when I say, lets never go back." Copper stuttered.

"W-Word."

After asking some shoppers (and getting odd looks from the general public), Copper and Booker found their way to Redd's shop.

Copper burst down the door and they leapt into action.

And the shop.

"Crazy Redd! The gig is up!" Copper declared.

"Yes." Booker added.

"Hello there…gents? Why, Mr. Copper! May I say I like your new hair?" the fox said, smiling openly.

"No. You may not." Said Copper through gritted teeth.

"Oh, that's a shame. Booker, you look simply dashing." Redd wheedled.

"Thank you." Grinned Booker.

Copper gave him a death stare.

"Booker. I will not pay you. You will not be able to buy food so you'll starve. And then, YOU'LL DIE!"

"Threats of death? Classy." Redd smirked.

"Quiet you." Copper snapped.

Redd smiled.

"Ladies. Stop fighting. I don't want any CRAZY business going on here."

"Anyway, I came to arrest you." Copper told him.

"Aw, hell no. I don't think so." Redd smiled.

Copper smirked.

"Well then. I'll just have to tell Harriet that you require a appointment with her. She'll come to your shop, of course. She likes gentlemen company."

Redd eyed him suspiciously.

"You wouldn't."

"However, are you willing to take that risk? I don't think pink would be your colour." Copper smiled.

"I think a dark brown would bring out your eyes though." Booker smiled.

Copper nodded.

"Or a dark red."

They looked at each other and said simultaneously.

"Red. Crazy Redd. Funny!"

Redd thought about his options.

** **SPINNY BATMAN LOGO NO.4 ****

"What on Earth are you?" Margie asked.

Redd put on a fake smile and did a dance in his flower costume.

"I am Felicity Flower!" he sang.

"Wait…hold up. Aren't you Crazy Redd?" Georgiee frowned.

"No. I am Felicity Flower." Redd repeated sternly. "I'm here to celebrate the Flower Fest."

Puck scowled.

"Nope. I bought like two paintings from you. Then, I gave them to Georgiee when I realised they were fake."

"Then, I sent them to Boone and Limberg pretending to be an upstanding member of the town." She continued.

Redd grinned.

"Oh! Cousin Georgiee and Cousin Puck! I didn't recognise you two."

Superman (or Mayor Tortimer as he's known) whipped him.

"Shush! You're here to bring flowery fun to Leopards!"

"Aw dammit. I'd rather of had Harriet's perm."

**SOME THINGS YOU MUST NOW DO:**

_**Review.**_

_**Request**_

_**Not become a pimp because it's illegal.**_

_**Don't die.**_

**IF YOU DON'T DO THESE THINGS, THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE!**

Well, not really. But it would make me really happy!


	6. Lyle and Redd's scam

A/N: Thanks to Zipping Around for the request! Anyway, this is the whole scam thing with Redd and Lyle. Contains some one-sided LyleXRedd if you squint. I added it for…unknown reasons.

"Do you have the money?!" Redd screamed.

"What? Redd, I just paint forgeries for you. I don't give you money!" Lyle protested.

"Oh yes. Sorry. Do you have the painting with you?"

"Of course! It's the Mona Lisa!" smiled Lyle proudly.

He hoped Redd would appreciate it. He really, really did.

"Lyle…did you write the sign too?" Redd's gravely voice cut through him.

"Yes! Do you like it Redd?" he smiled.

"No! You put the S the wrong way round!" Redd shouted.

"Oh."

"And there isn't a S in Vinci anyway!"

Lyle bit his lip. Obviously Redd wasn't that impressed. Or grateful. Or anything Lyle hoped he would act to him.

"Why am I paying you for this…work, if that's what you call it?" Redd ranted.

"You're not."

"Yes, that's right! Have you ever wondered why?"

Lyle realised that the question before had been a trap. And he'd fallen into it, hook line and sinker.

"If it's just the sign, just take it off."

"Thank the heavens you didn't stick it down! I'd look a total fool!" Redd grumbled.

"You're not very appreciative." Lyle muttered.

"There's nothing to appreciate in your work! The only person who buys these is Cousin Georgiee."

"See? I'm fooling one person!" Lyle grinned, proudly.

"No! She's just doesn't care! She gives them to the museum or whatever it is."

"Well, I can stop giving you paintings if you want!" Lyle complained.

"…" Redd opened his mouth to argue but then shut it.

After all, he did NEED Lyle. He couldn't make forgeries himself. Everything he drew ended up looking like a giraffe.

Apart from giraffes. They always ended up looking like turnips.

He remembered the day he made his first tent…

** flashback noises **

"Er…what's that unfortunate looking object?" Tom Nook had asked.

"That, my raccoon friend is…" Redd had trailed off.

"What? Don't tell me you can't even recognise your own drawings!" Tom laughed.

"Don't be stupid!" Lyle had smiled. "It's a giraffe!"

Redd had frowned so hard he'd probably promised himself a lifetime of wrinkles.

"I think it was meant to be a chair or something."

"Really?" Lyle and Nook had both exclaimed.

"Anyway," Nook frowned at the drawing once more. "I have to go! My shop is opening soon and the city will be buzzing soon, hm!"

And with that, he wandered off to the shop next to Shampoodles and the Auction house.

"Is that really a chair?" Lyle had asked once Nook had left.

"No. It was meant to be a leaf. I just figured I should save myself _some_ embarrassment, after all." Redd admitted.

"Well, I'll paint you a leaf! Wait there!" and Lyle fetched some golden paint and set to work on the tent.

"So, what are you going to do with this?" Lyle asked whilst he was painting.

"Sell furniture. I might go to Leopards every Monday or something."

"BANG! Good idea."

** end flashback **

That had been years ago.

When he, Lyle and Nook were friends.

Before Redd went dodgy in order to get one over on Nook.

Before Nook had closed down his shop and barricaded the door.

Before Kicks had decided to sit by the door of Nook's old shop and shine shoes.

Before Nook betrayed him.

"Redd? Are you ok?" he heard Lyle say.

"What? Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about ol' Redd. Worry about your disastrous spelling instead!" he snapped in reply.

Lyle shrank back.

Redd had changed since that day.

And it was seriously busting his chops.

**This one's all depressing and suspenseful.**

**I'm not sure I like it.**

**Tell me what you think, anyway.**

**I'd like to know what's what.**


	7. The Bug Room

**A/N: Request from sandydragon! Also, I'm going to apologise for the 2nd chapter in 100 Things. I don't know why the text is flying about everywhere. I blame Microsoft. DAMN YOU MICROSOFT! Also, I've been flooded with requests so expect more than one update today! K? K!**

~#7 – The museum exhibits~

"Aghhh!" Blathers screamed.

Georgiee watched as Blathers ran around, yelling.

Boone caught him by the bow tie.

"Blathers! What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

"S-Some bugs got out of their enclosure and chased me!" Blathers stuttered. "There were moths and spiders and BUTTERFLIES!"

"Oh. You know, I can understand the moths and icky stuff like that but…butterflies? Really? That fear is SO irrational." Georgiee frowned.

Boone looked at her.

"Six words for you. Moths, Clowns and People Cracking Their Knuckles." He marked every word off on his finger.

"Agh! Where?" and she dove to the floor.

"Actually, that was seven words." Blathers corrected him.

"Nope. The _and_ doesn't count. That's why it wasn't capitalised."

"Oh, I see. Anyway, moths are the devil!" Blathers shrieked.

"Yes! Yes, they are!" Georgiee shouted, getting up.

"Why do you even have a bug exhibit if you're so terrified?" Boone frowned.

"Well, er, Celeste made me. Apparently, I can't just ignore one science because it makes it makes me squeamish." Blathers frowned.

"Oh. Why don't you replace the bug room with something else? Like precious stones/gems?" asked Georgiee.

"Or a…plant room? You could have vegetables and stuff in there." Boone suggested.

Georgiee turned to him.

"That's the stupidest idea ever. "I've come to make a donation." With Blathers saying "Hoo. What is it, hoo?" and replying "This turnip." That would be stupid!" Georgiee argued.

"Your impressions were very good."

"Thank you. I pride myself on my Blathers impressions." Georgiee nodded.

"You're the one with the degree." Nodded Boone. "You know, in Blathersisim."

(If you got that, I WUV YOU for you read my other story! 3)

"Yes. I know! A history bit with the history of Leopards or something like that." Georgiee smiled.

"An exhibition on cold pizza." Boone added.

"Moustaches from around the world! Stuff! Cats in microwaves! Jedward! Stop looking at me like that Blathers!" Georgiee shouted.

"Cheese on toast! Aliens! Stale bread! Shoes! That clock GeorgiexxxSuarez made! The one that'll she put as the image for this story as soon as this chapter's up and that's a promise! Diet Pepsi!" Boone yelled.

"You two! You've gone a bit crazy!" Blathers sweated.

But they had already marched out the door, screaming museum ideas.

"The life and times of Sheldon Cooper! Giraffes! Wet wipes! Nail varnish! Mickey Mouse! Bananas! Matalan! Poundland! Blackpool Illuminations!" yelled Georgiee.

"Chocolate! King George III! Deodorant! Zombies! Flamingos! Porta-loos! Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark! Oranges!" roared Boone.

Eventually, Boone and Georgiee were detained for being drunk and disorderly. Even though they were completely sober and they passed several breathalyser tests.

However, that didn't stop Blathers from thinking about their idea.

"I could change the bug exhibit. But then I'd have to let the bugs out…which would require touching and…hoo…hoo- THUD!" Blathers cried out as he fell down.

"Who's shouting "THUD!" down there?" came Celeste's voice from the observatory. She came down the stairs too see Blathers on the floor.

"Wake up! Stop sleeping on the job!" she scowled, kicking him.

"I'm not sleeping. I pretend to faint for effect." He got up. "May I ask you some questions?"

"I will allow you to ask six."

"Ok."

"That's five."

"Why?" Blathers exclaimed.

"Four." Celeste counted.

"Holy Dog Toffee, you're right! Well, best get on with it, wot."

He got out a clipboard and started making notes.

"Question 1. Could we replace the bug room with something else?" Blathers asked.

"I don't know. It depends what you want to replace it with." Celeste answered. "Three more."

"Well, I was thinking of gems or precious stones."

"That's quite a good idea. And it sounds pretty." Celeste smiled.

"Question 2. If we did, would you get the bugs out of here?" Blathers asked.

"Well, to be honest, most of the bugs have flown away anyway. There's probably bugs everywhere in this museum." Celeste shrugged.

"WHAT?" Blathers shrieked.

"Was that a question?" Celeste eyed him suspiciously.

"No, no. That was an exclamation."

"Oh, you mean like "!"."

"Yes but that's very hard to say." Blathers sighed.

"It just takes practice. Two more." Celeste told him.

"Question 4-"

"What about Question 3?" asked Celeste.

"I'm getting to that. Question 4. Where will all the bugs go?"

"Probably outside. Back home."

Blathers spoke aloud as he wrote on his clipboard again.

"Indoors – safe. Outdoors – not safe."

Celeste frowned.

"If you stay indoors all the time you'll catch rickets!"

"No one cares about rickets, Celeste! And, could you please stop telling that to all the visitors? They really don't like it."

"Was that another question?"

"No. It was a suggestion."

"Ah. Suggestion noted. Is it Question 3 time now?"

"Yes. Why is Brewster hording all the gryoids we decorated the museum with?" Blathers asked.

"I do not know."

Meanwhile in The Roost…

"They're miiiiiiiiiine! All miiiiiiiiiine!" Brewster laughed manically.

Margie sat on the stool with a cup of coffee steaming away. Fear was in her eyes as Brewster rolled around on the floor with about twenty gryoids singing at her.

"Help…me."

**I don't really know where I was going with this one… and I will put my clock up as the picture possibly. In any future reviews, please out whether I should keep the picture the same or put up the clock. THANK YOU GUIZE!**


	8. Tom Nook's betrayal

**A/N: I know the 2nd update today! The Bug Room chapter is new so make sure you read that. I'm falling behind with requests so that's why there are two chapters up today. About requests… I will do OCs. I will do pairings and stuff. Basically, I will do anything that isn't angst, hurt/comfort or tragedy. Those genres give me depression. I might go against the summary and do western. God knows why, though. CHECK OUT 100 THINGS! IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU'LL LIKE THAT! ONLY IT'S MORE RANDOM! Don't like advertising but oh well. By the way this is a little different. You'll see why. It's in 1st person.**

~#8 – Nook and Redd's friendship~

Redd's POVSIX YEARS AGO

I knocked on Tom's shop door. As I did, the frost fell off the wooden frame and sprinkled itself at my feet.

"R-Redd? Is that you?" came Tom's stuttering voice.

"Yes it is. Are you busy?"

I knew the answer would be no.

"N-no. Be warned, it's quite cold inside." And Tom opened the door.

Yeah right. Like it could be any colder inside than it was outside!

I was wrong.

"Wow! You're right, it's _freezing _in here!" I gasped.

"Well, I have no money for heating so I just out on two coats and stick it out, hm." Tom laughed but I could see he didn't mean it.

"There is no way I'm letting you stay here tonight! Come on, you can stay with me." I declared.

I had a storeroom on the edge of the city that Lyle, my best friend, had given me, free of charge. I usually stayed there in the winter seeing as it would be much too cold to just camp out in my tent.

"No, no. Thank you for your kind offer but I wouldn't want to cause you any trouble." Tom shook his head.

I rolled my eyes. He either rejected that offer out of pride or he just wanted me to tell him again.

"I'm not asking. I'm telling you." I frowned. "I have soup and it's meant to be even worse tonight. I won't stand by and watch my friend freeze to death."

Tom nodded gratefully and stepped outside.

He locked the door and followed me to the storeroom. As soon as we stepped inside there was a dramatic change in heat.

Tom shook off his coat and smiled at Lyle.

"Hello!"

"Hello there, Tom. And Redd, I just can't get this colour right and it's busting my chops!"

I shook my finger and gestured to Tom.

He didn't know that I forged paintings. I knew he'd hate me if he found out.

Lyle gasped as he figured out the code.

"What colour?" Tom asked.

Luckily, he hadn't seen my gestures because he'd been hanging up his coats.

"A sign! That's right, Lyle is making me a sign for the shop."

Tom nodded and went upstairs to use the bathroom.

"He can't find out!" I whispered to Lyle.

"I thought you told him."

"And why would you think that?" I asked.

"You told me you did!" Lyle argued.

I bit my lip so Lyle carried on.

"I hate lying to my friends, Redd. And I won't do it anymore!"

"Ok, ok. I hate it too!" I agreed sitting on the floor opposite him. "But remember. I have a lot more to lose than you!"

"How come?" Lyle frowned.

"Tom won't hate you. He'll hate me for selling forgeries and slowly putting him out of business!" I grumbled.

"You're doing what?" came Tom's voice.

He looked over to see a very angry Tom stood at the bottom of the stairs.

He looked at me and shook his head.

Then, he grabbed his coats and left.

Nook's POVTHE NEXT DAY

Lyle was with me.

I wasn't angry with him but Redd…how could he do this to me? I thought we were friends.

I obviously thought wrong.

"Are you going to grass us up?" Lyle muttered.

I smiled at him, weakly. He was too stupid to know how much of a crime forgery was.

"I'm going to turn Redd in. I won't mention you. You were probably just a pawn in this." Which probably wasn't true but Lyle needed some condolence.

"B-but why?" he protested. "He wasn't trying to hurt you. He said "It's a dog eat dog world in the city, Lyle. And I have to get bigger teeth." But I never thought he meant forgeries."

I shook my head.

"I'm not proud of doing this, Lyle. But Redd is right. It is a dog eat dog world. But you can't just have teeth. You need claws too." I muttered, reaching for the phone.

"I thought kittens had claws. I don't really get that part you added on just then, to be honest." Lyle said.

I didn't either but I had to do this. If I didn't…my shop (and career in the city) would be over.

And I promised Sable I would make it.

I dialled the number and reported Redd.

Lyle sat whimpering in the corner whilst the conversation lasted.

When it was over, I realised what I had done.

Whilst I had promised Sable my success, I wasn't meant to achieve it like this.

Lyle's POVPRESENT DAY

It had been just over six years.

Redd had gotten off with a warning but he had never been the same.

Even more forgeries made their way into his tent and eventually his storage room became his shop.

I stopped painting forgeries for him.

Well, until recently.

Redd needed help and I would give it to him.

The forgeries had at first been a little add-on. Now they were Redd's addiction and he was spiralling out of control.

He never trusted another stranger. He would pretend to but chances were he never meant it.

I was his only friend in the world.

His motto became one of trust, probably because he didn't want it broken again.

Tom left the city immediately after I told him Redd got a warning.

One day he was there, BANG, he was gone.

I miss him.

Redd hates him (which is understandable in the circumstances) but deep down, somewhere, he blames himself. Not that he'd ever admit it.

We'd never seen Nook since but I hope he's doing ok.

I really do.

After all, he deserves it.

As for me, well, life is awful.

After all this, I started to hate the world and eventually got fired from my law company.

Something about being to angry when people didn't want law help.

And that I teamed up with Redd and turned into a crooked businessman.

Now I work at the Happy Room Academy.

It's the pits.

I still can't believe how everything changed in the space of twenty minutes.

I'm still busting my chops over it now.

**This one's depressing…I'm not sure I like this one either.**


	9. The HRA

A/N: Be pre-warned. This won't be very good because, basically, I didn't know what to do for this one but it was a request from SANDYDRAGON so I did it.

~#9 – The H.R.A~

"Well, we've finished the meeting about how hitting people with nets is ok until they get angry," Mr Whitehound, CEO of Inc Incorporated, smiled. "Now, how are the Sharks in Fountains?"

"It's going spiffing, Mr Whitehound." Answered Ms. Lorene. "We're seeing a rise in small children getting their arms bitten off whilst playing in a fountain."

"Good, good. Now, unless anyone else has any issues to bring up, this meeting can end!" Mr Whitehound clapped his paws together.

"I, like, totally have one, Mr Whitehound." Came a camp voice.

They all turned to Albert Albertson, a pink flamingo.

"Is it about you coming out of the metaphorical closet? We all have a bet on that and if you don't come out at _this _meeting, I'm going to lose 1,000 bells!" Mr Whitehound gasped.

"No. I'M STRAIGHT!" Albert roared.

"Oh, you're straight? Well, so is spaghetti. Until it gets HOT." Someone yelled, causing the whole of Conference Room 1A to erupt into laughter.

"Now, now everyone. Albert did say he had an idea and we should hear him out." Mr Whitehound told them.

"Thank you, sir. Anyway, there aren't enough happy rooms in the world!" Albert told them. "Wait a sec. KEVIN!"

And with that, a purple cat in a suit ran up.

"My name isn't Kevin. It's Terence!"

"Whatever, Phil. Time is like totally wasting."

Grumbling, Terence set up a flip chart and handed Albert a ruler he could use as a pointer.

"Anyway, what is this?" Mr Whitehound frowned at three letters drawn on the paper.

"Well, this is totally my idea that I came up with and Bob didn't."

"You little liar. And my name is Terence!" Terence shouted.

"Hush up, Lee. The grown-ups are talking business. So, basically it's called the Happy Room Academy and we evaluate rooms."

"For what point and purpose?" Ms Lorene, a gazelle in a black suit dress, asked.

"To give people more chances to have, like, happy rooms."

"Hmm…the name could use a touch-up. Instead of 'happy' which everyone uses, how about cheerful?" Mr Gomez, a sand coloured lizard, suggested.

"The CRA? That's awful. How about the Delighted Room Academy?" Mr Whitehound shot back.

"No, no, no. DRA is just as bad as CRA so we could have…the Ecstatic Room Academy? ERA?"

"I have one!" Terence smiled. "Because it's Albert's idea," however he struggled with that part "We should make it more like him. The GRA? Gay Room Academy!"

This made the whole room fall about laughing.

"Fred! What are you doing?" Albert shouted.

"I'm only trying to fit in. And gay means happy!" Terence grinned.

"Are all of you disparaging my idea?" Albert yelled at the laughing conference room.

"No. Yes. I don't know what disparaging means." Admitted Mr Whitehound.

"Making fun of."

"Then, yes!"

"And we all know Terence comes up with all your ideas!" Mr Gomez frowned.

"Yes. What is the point of even having you at Inc Incorporated?" Ms Lorene sighed.

"Are you coming out of the closet at any time?" Mr Whitehound asked.

"NO!" Albert yelled.

"Well then. I see no need to keep you on board, Mr Albertson. You're fired and Terence will take your place. We love his idea!" Mr Whitehound clapped.

Albert sighed and left the building.

"Does this mean I win the bet?" Terence asked.

"Yes, go on!" Mr Whitehound grumbled.

"YAY!" yelled Terence.

"And that's how the HRA was founded. Does ol' Lyle need to tell you anything else?" Lyle frowned.

The person shook their head.

"No, I won't be joining. It sounds well dodgy."

**SORRY ABOUT THE LAMENESS!**

**And here are some things about my request thing.**

**I WILL ACCEPT OCs but please PM me a description!**

**You can ask for request by PM or review.**

**Meh.**

**There are some genres I won't do i.e. Tragedy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. They get me depressed. **

**I have changed the summary and if you want to give me a challenge and request Western, that'd be OK!**

**That is pretty much it.**

**NOW HITCH YOUR SKIRT UP AMD REQUEST! **


	10. KK Slider

A/N: I DO NOT OWN THE SONG USED. This one's about K.K Slider so thanks Sandydragon! Watching Most Haunted whilst writing this and Yvette said "If you want us here, do nice things and make sweet things and if you don't want us here do bad things and make bad noises" and I could picture one ghost going "Coochie-coochie-coo!" and the other farting in their face. There's a demon on it touching Yvette up, haha! I want to get a job on that so I can pretend to be possessed like Derek Accora.

~#10 – K.K Slider~

"Come to the Roost!" Boone shouted excitedly.

"Whyyy? I don't like coffee and Brewster scares me with all his silence." Puck frowned.

"Yes BUT K.K Slider is performing his new song!"

"Oh, well, that's different." Georgiee, wake up!" Puck yelled rapping on her window.

"No. Go away." She replied bluntly.

"But, K.K Slider is performing his new song."

"Ugh, fine."

They made their way to the Roost and sat down by the table.

Margie was already there and had a hot cup of coffee steaming away.

"Ok, cool cats. This is my new song "I Can Make You"." K.K Slider told them.

He plucked a couple of strings and began to sing.

"**Your new boyfriend is really good-looking**

**If he was a stylist, I'd probably book him**

**Not that I'm really into that stuff**

**I'm just saying that your boyfriend's incredibly buff#**

**He's got a really nice face**

**And really nice hair**

**He's proper polite**

**And really aware**

**Really nice teeth**

**And a really nice tan**

**And he's really relaxed**

**When it all hits the fan**

**But he makes you look fat!**

**He makes you ugly like a man!**

**He makes you old just like his Nan!**

**Yeah, he makes you look fat!**

**He makes you look FAAAAAAT!**

**He makes you look lardy round the arse!**

**Don't you know that he's in a different class?**

**Yep, he makes you look fat!**

**You two together**

**What's wrong with this picture?**

**You need a man**

**Whose waistline will eclipse ya.**

**You need a man who's**

**A little more shoddy**

**With a gap in his teeth!**

**And an imperfect body!**

**It's nothing you've done**

**You just shot far too high**

**You'll just get ignored**

**Whilst they give him the eye.**

**Don't get me wrong**

**I'm not saying your fat**

**Anyone would look fat when**

**They're sat next to that**

**Yeah, he makes you look fat!**

**He makes you look ugly in your face!**

**Don't you know that**

**You're looking out of place?**

**He makes you look FAAAAAAT!**

**He makes you look FAAAAAAAAAAAT!**

**He makes you look fat, oh yes indeed!**

**Don't you know that**

**He's well out of your league?**

**He makes you look fat!**

**I've got a solution**

**You might like to try it**

**You won't have to jog**

**And you won't have to diet**

**I'm sure you can see**

**To a certain degree**

**How good looking you'd be**

**When you're stood…next to me**

**I can make you look fit!**

**I can make you look much fitter than him!**

**Take a look at my saggy double chin!**

**I can make you look fit!**

**I can make you look FIIIIIIIIIIIT!**

**I can make you look fit, oh yes I can!**

**You know that I am your ideal man!**

**I can make you look fit!**

**Fit, fit, fit, fit!"**

"I can make you look fit, that's the song." K.K Slider told them.

"…Err…that's a good song?" Boone frowned uncertainly. "I'm not sure I get the "Waistline that eclipse ya" part."

"Not a lot rhymes with picture." K.K replied.

"I didn't like it." Puck sighed.

"Whoa! What are you two on? Did we listen to the same song cos the one I was listening to was AWESOME!" Georgiee grinned.

"Hey, High-Five!" K.K grinned.

"I'm going to sing that ALL day!" she smiled.

"I can hook you up with a bootleg if you want!"

"Yes!" she cheered. "I'm going to put it on my phonograph _right now_!"

And she raced off, singing the song as she raced away.

"Do you want another song if that wasn't to your tastes?" the singer asked them.

The two nodded and K.K strummed his guitar again.

"This is a song A song about pickles

**Pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles**

**Pickles are a vegetable**

**I don't really like them**

**I just like the name**

**Piiiiiiiiiickles**

**Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiickles**

**Once you know the words**

**You can teach it to your friends**

**This is a song**

**It's a song about pickles**

**Pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles**

"And I made that up just then." K.K told them

"Really?" Boone frowned sarcastically.

"I thought it was better than the other one!" Puck grinned.

"How did you think that?" Boone shouted at him.

"Well, the lyrics are terrible but I LOVE pickles!"

And with that, Puck was promised a copy in the mail by morning and he skipped away happily.

"Looks like I only have to please you now, friend." K.K smirked. "And I know how to do it."

"**You've got to have eyes**

**Eyes for the lovely things in life!**

**If you've only got eyes**

**For the horrid and the bad**

**How you gonna get**

**I said how you gonna get**

**I said how you gonna get**

**The chocolate you deserve?**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah!**

**Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah!**

**Yes.**

**You've got to have eyes**

**Eyes for the amazing joy and stuff!**

**If you've only got eyes for old walnuts filled with spit**

**How you gonna get**

**I said how you gonna get**

**Tell me HOW you gonna get**

**The chocolate you deserve?**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah**

**Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah!**

**Yes.**

**(Guitar solo)**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah**

**Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah!**

**Yes.**

**(Ostrich noises to fade)**

"T-That was beautiful!" Boone cried.

And he left with a wonderful message in his head and he was as chuffed as a badger when he found a bootleg in the mail.

**I actually wrote two of these songs.**

**It's easy to guess which ones obviously.**

**I COULD MAKE YOU LOOK FIT: NICK HELM**

**HE OWNS THAT!**

**I OWN:**

**THE PICKLE SONG**

**IF YOU'RE TOO BUSY SNIPING AND GRIPING, YOU CAN'T SEE THE GOOD STUFF AROUND YOU (IYTBSAGYCSTGSAY)**

_**Review you smelly jellies!**_


	11. Pointed Love

A/N: Hello. This is about Sable's favourite show 'Pointed Love' and is a request from Sandydragon. I apologise for the songs I wrote for the last fic. Which was the last two. They were awful. TO SANDYDRAGON: Those ideas were genuine ones Rebecca and me had in Humanities. And if we had been allowed to go through with them, we'd be successful.

**~#**11 – Pointed Love~

"Ralph! I'm pregnant. And it's yours." Maria, a pink-spiked porcupine fretted to her lover, a black-spiked porcupine.

"You must have an abortion, Maria. My whole business would go under if Michelle found out about our affair. She owns half of it and you know she will seek revenge. I am not having my car repair business go under because of you!" Ralph scowled.

"No! Ralph, this is OUR baby! Getting an abortion…it would be murder. There is no way I will abort this child. I am having this baby!" Maria sobbed at him.

She tried to leave Ralph's office but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"No. And if it means killing you too…so be it." Ralph snarled.

He grabbed some petrol that he's been showing to some inspectors and he threw it over the office.

Maria's eyes widened in fear as she watched him cover the office in it.

"R-R-RALPH! No, please don't!"

Ralph simply replied by taking out his lighter that his granddad gave him.

The same one that killed Grandma Dolores all those years before.

"It's too late." He muttered.

"I'll move away! I promise, you'll never hear from me again! Don't do this. YOU'LL DIE TOO!" she screamed.

"I don't care."

And the office was set alight.

"WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WHO WILL DIE? RALPH, MARIA OR SOMEONE ELSE? WILL TERENCE REVEAL HIS LOVE FOR AMEILIA? WILL STEPH'S ATTACKER BE NAMED? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK ON…POINTED LOVE!" cried the female narrator, her abilities to make things seem dramatic not matched by her enthusiasm.

However, Sable ignored the woman's monotone voice and hugged her pillow tightly.

Meanwhile, Mable did paperwork in the kitchen.

"Sis, how can you watch that rubbish?" she complained.

"Rubbish? Mable, this is amazing television! The romance between Nick and Rosie…it makes me want to curl into a ball and squeal!" grinned Sable.

"And there you are with Georgiee, pouring out your history with Tom Nook. And when she asks if his gift to you was a ring, you accuse her of watching cheesy-made-for-TV-romances. Hypocritical, much?" Mable sighed.

"Oh shush, Mable. Pointed Love is my guilty pleasure and I love winding down to it. And it has to be good if it makes me feel like that!"

"Sable…these people aren't real!"

"Well neither are the people in that advert you marvel at."

"WHAT?" Mable frowned. "Of course they are. It even says 'Real People Not Actors' at the top. And I don't marvel at it! But 95% out of 121 people is amazing!"

Sable laughed.

"Oh, sis. You are gullible, aren't you?"

"Are not! But really, that drama is so depressing!"

"It makes me feel better about life and makes me see how lucky we are." Sable smiled.

"If you want to feel lucky, why don't you sit in the hospital emergency room?"

Sable laughed but Mable came and sat next to her to finish the paperwork. She had one more order to fill and then she was…

"Done!" she smiled and she placed the work in a binder to keep it neat. "What's on now?"

"Boring stuff. Cars and sports, that type of thing." Sable frowned.

"And Most Haunted!" Mable rejoiced, putting it on.

"And you argue that Pointed Love is stupid because it isn't real?"

Mable frowned at her big sister.

"Of course it's real! And even if it isn't, I find it fascinating!" Sable rolled her eyes. "I take it you don't believe in ghosts, then?"

"It's not that I don't believe in them. It's just…well…tell you what. You go out and bring me a ghost and then I'll believe in ghosts."

"Believing is supposed to be about having faith in something even if there's no evidence. That would be proof if I showed you one. And then you'd have to believe in it. If you didn't, it would be like if you didn't believe in…bread." Mable argued.

"Fair enough. Does that mean you think Derek Accora is the real deal?" Sable asked her sister.

"No. But it was hilarious watching him skitz out and pretend to be possessed."

Sable laughed.

"How about a deal? If you stop whining about Pointed Love, I'll shut up about Most Haunted. Deal?"

"Go on, then." Mable frowned. "You won't make me watch it though, will you?" Mable frowned.

"Ok, if you don't want to, that's fine. I want to watch this, though."

"So YOU do like it!" Mable grinned.

"No…but I do think it's slightly interesting. Even if it is fake." Sable laughed.

"You made a deal just then about that!"

"And that deal starts in 3,2,1…go!" Sable smiled.

Mable shook her head and went back to the program.

My mother says that about ghosts all the time. She says 'If you bring me one, I'll believe in it'. Still that isn't what belief is about.

**I'm going all priest on you now. Sorry.**

**Also, today I will be starting to write my main series. Well, main until it finishes. It's basically a whole drama/romance/humour thing and if you'd like your OC to feature in it, give us a lil PM! I can't come up with my loads of characters by myself ;)**


	12. Brewster's Gryoids

**A/N: I saw my new school for the first time yesterday! The builders have spent loads of effort on it. It'll probably get ruined within the week. Lol. Anyway, this is a request from sandydragon about why Brewster hoards gryoids. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS YOU LOVELY PEOPLE! :D**

~#12 – Brewster's gryoids~

"WOW! THIS COFFE TASTES LIKE UNICORNS JUMPING AROUND IN MY MOUTH AND THEN FLYING TO THE MOON AND THE MOON THEN EXPLODES BECAUSE IT'S MADE OF CHEESE AND THEN THE UNICORNS EXPLODE BECAUSE THEY WERE ON THE MOON WHEN IT EXPLODED AND- AGHHHHHHHHHH!" and with that Georgiee fell off her chair.

"Your welcome, coo coo." Brewster smiled. "Did you like the coffee?"

"Yes." Georgiee added whilst getting off the floor. "That was even better than the one yesterday!"

**~Flashback, ooh, Flashback, ooh~**

"AGH! THIS COFFEE TASTES LIKE I'M HAVING A SWORD FIGHT WITH DRACO MALFOY, AND THEN I WON! SO HE DECIDES TO LEAVE TOWN SO I GIVE HIM MY LAST £10 NOTE AND THEN HE LEAVES AND I'M SO UPSET I TURN INTO A HOBO AND THEN MY FRIEND FROM YORK COMES HOME AND WE FIND OURSELVES IN A SUPER MARIO GALAXY! THEN DRACO RETURNS!"

**This was a dream I had last night. I think there were some Phoenix Wright characters in there too but I don't really remember. And Adam Levine was there too**

**~END FLASHBACK~**

"Say, do you have any gryoids on you?" Brewster butted into her reminiscing.

"Err…I have a Mega Puffoid. That sounds a bit like a breakfast cereal." Georgiee frowned.

"I can…look after it for you. If you want." Brewster smiled sinisterly.

"I don't know. I learnt from my trip to Thailand that you don't anyone 'look after' your possessions. And I also learnt how to say 'No officer. I've never seen them before in my life. I'm telling you. They aren't my suitcases' in Thai. But that is a story for no day. Ever."

"I will store gryoids for you. For free."

"Well…I don't really like gryoids so I wouldn't really care if you stole them or raped them or something." She handed him the Mega Puffoid. "Go wild."

She left The Roost, ignoring Brewster's evil laugh as she went.

"Soon. Soon, the WORLD OF ANIMALS will be mine!" he screamed.

He opened the door next to all his shelves and went inside.

It was a huge laboratory. Silver machines lined the walls, casting eerie shadows across the floor and walls. There was a grid at the top of the ceiling shining light into the puddles that were scattered across the floor. In the middle of all this, was a monstrous machine.

It was silver and well looked after for whilst all the other machines were covered in rust, this one was silver and clean. It resembled a rocket with a big door on the side. Next to it, a huge panel of buttons of all colours lay beside it.

At the top there was a huge ariel with a big blue ball at the tip.

Brewster threw the Mega Puffoid into the machine and pressed a blue button. The blue ball glowed and pulsated. The machine started to shake and Brewster pressed a purple button. The door swung open and the door swung open with a lot of force. In the middle of the machine, the Mega Puffoid was still writing around. But where it had been green, it was now silver. Like the machine.

Brewster laughed and was about to put it in a large cupboard when the door swung open.

"NOT SO FAST!" Superman (A.K.A Mayor Tortimer) shouted, hovering in the air.

"Dammit. Not again." Brewster frowned. "Wait. Who's your little sidekick?"

For next to Superman, was POSTMAN-MAN! (Also known as Petey).

"Ah, this is POSTMAN-MAN! He's my apprentice."

_**He was bitten by a radioactive POSTMAN, giving him all the powers of a POSTMAN**_

_**His superhero name is POSTMAN-MAN**_

_**His superhero costume is a POSTMAN'S hat and a satchel with letters inside.**_

_**His arch-nemesis is called 'All The Stuff That Needs Doing'**_

_**THRILL TO HIS EXPLOITS!**_

"I have a question." Postman-man frowned.

"Go on."

"Why is your name so imaginative when mine is a big pile of stupid?"

"Cos I'm the leader." Superman smiled. "Anyway! Brewster! You're going down!"

"What's that?" Postman-man asked, nodding his head at the Mega Puffoid.

"Oh, this? It's just a harmless Mega Puffoid." Brewster lied.

"So chique!" Postman-man smiled.

"Well, I don't see how that is a problem?" Mayor- I mean- Superman frowned.

"Ha! Ha! Haaaa! That's because it's really a GIANT ROBOT! You thought it was a harmless Mega Puffoid!" Brewster laughed.

"You told me it was." Superman said.

"True."

"Why would you lie to me like that?" frowned Superman.

"Sorry."

"You really upset him now!" Postman-man shouted. "Maybe you should try a new plan."

"No, no. I think I'll stick with this one. ACTIVATE!" he cried, pushing down on the Mega Puffoid's head.

Nothing happened.

"It not doing much." Superman observed.

"Oh, the hold button's on."

**TRANSFORMING!**

**WITH THE BREWSTER SQUAD!**

"That was a impressive transformation." Postman-man said whilst looking up at the huge robot that stood before them.

"Hey guys! I can see my house from up here!" came Lord Brewster's voice from the shoulder of the GIANT ROBOT.

"I've done more impressive things." Superman argued.

"Like what?" Postman-man asked.

"Just you wait til you clean the back of the town hall." Superman smiled.

"But it's your turn to clean it this month."

"Oh no."

"Anyway," sighed Petey- I mean- Postman-man. "This is no time to talk about your graffiti."

"It's not graffiti! It is art!"

"We need to stop this GIANT ROBOT."

"You do it." Superman sulked. "I'm in a mood."

**GIANT POSTMAN SATCHEL ATTACK!**

"Mmm! Mmmhm- MM!" came the muffled shouts of Lord Brewster.

"Look what you've done! It's all scratched now!" Lord Brewster sighed. " I'll have to take it back."

"What's this?" asked Superman, holding a sticker, which read 'IF REMOVED WARRANTY IS VOID'.

"Oh, great. Now the warranty is void. I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME SUPERMAN!" cried Lord Brewster, flying away.

Superman and Postman-man watched as Lord Brewster blasted the grid away with a laser and flew away.

"I wish we knew who Lord Brewster was." Sighed Postman-man.

"Don't worry about it." Superman reassured him. "We'll get him one day."

ONE DAY.

They went outside the museum to see Redd and Georgiee holding a suitcase.

Georgiee threw her hands up in the air.

"เจ้าหน้าที่ไม่มี ฉันไม่เคยเห็นมาก่อน ฉันบอกคุณ พวกเขาจะไม่กระเป๋าของฉัน"

**THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS!**

SPARROWISMYHUMMINGBIRD: I'll do yours tonight, mmkay?

**TRUBEQUE: THANKS DUDE! That's so nice of you :3**

And just in case you ever need to know this, ever.

**เจ้าหน้าที่ไม่มี ฉันไม่เคยเห็นมาก่อน ฉันบอกคุณ พวกเขาจะไม่กระเป๋าของฉัน**

**Even have a look on Google Translate if you think I'm wrong ;)**

**Translate this in French too, give ya something to do!**

**Je t'aime, vous mecs petits!**


	13. Tom's depressionChristmasy things

A/N: I know I sort of promised to do this many moons ago but I was all depressed and I didn't want to make you depressed too. So, I'm doing them all now! Well, not all. So this is sparrowismyhummingbird's request so :) hooray! Also, I don't know whether anyone's done this before but oh well. I'm going to do a 2-in-1 with

_#13 – Tom's reasons~_

I still don't have an excuse for what I did. Well, what I mean by that is I haven't thought of one yet. When I'm alone, I wonder why I did what I did.

Redd showed me nothing but kindness.

And I betrayed him.

And with my actions, not only did I ruin Redd, I ruined Lyle. Another person who was just wrapped up in it all. He was too stupid to know what he was doing really. Even though he was in law, he didn't know how much trouble he would get in. I hadn't named Lyle however I used to see him when he came to Leopards on a Saturday. He sold dodgy insurance to the villagers, who never bought it.

I feel sorry for him. Slightly.

There was also Redd.

Why did he do this to me?

Back at the city, I didn't mind he got all the customers. Sure, I was a little jealous but that was understandable. I mean, I was broke and had less than nothing. But I was happy for him. We had both started with nothing. He had put that behind him and was going places. Even if I still had nothing, he didn't leave me behind.

Sighing, I looked out the window. It was Christmas time. It was about six years ago today that this whole thing happened and Redd was still sour. Which was understandable.

I could tell. After all, he had password combinations like:

"Someone to marry?"

"No way, Nook!"

It was immature but that's how Redd dealt with things.

Child-like and stupidly.

"Tom…are you in here?" came Sable's voice.

I gasped and made a false smile.

"Sable! It's been a while, hm?"

"Yes…I saw you looking sad through the window and I decided to check if everything was alright. Is it?" she asked.

Of course, she knew nothing of the incident. She'd hate me for betraying a friend.

"Of course it is. I was just zoning out."

"Well if that's all it is."

She turned to leave. I needed to say something. After all, that conversation (If it was long enough to qualify as one) was short and impersonal. I needed to say anything. Anything would work I assumed.

"How's the shop? Is that keeping well?" I asked.

Well that sounded stupid. Asking about anything would have been better than that! It sounded so forced.

"Oh…well, I guess it's ok. Busy lately!" Sable laughed.

"Good! It must be nice to have someone working with you instead of you just working by yourself…"

It was only after I said that I realized how sad it actually sounded.

"Oh. It is. But you said you were considering employing more people for when you next expand so maybe working here wouldn't be so…tedious. Wait, I didn't mean it like that!"

"No, no!" I reassured her. "I know what you meant. And you're right."

"I have to go now…Bye Tom."

She was about to leave! And once she stepped outside that door, I wouldn't see her for goodness knows how long!

"Sable! Merry Christmas!" I shouted after her.

She turned and smiled. Wait…was she? Was she _blushing_?

"Merry Christmas, Tom."

And she was gone.

"Well," I muttered once she was out of sight. "If that wasn't the most awkward moment I'll ever experience, I don't know what is."

(This is where the 2-in-1 kicks in! Excited?)

"Georgiee? What's with that happy look on your face? I find it unnerving." Groucho frowned.

"I just got a present from Jingle, the merry Christmas reindeer!" she replied.

"Oh…seeing as you were stood outside an empty house, I thought you burgled it."

"Well you thought wrong. I didn't burgle that house at all." She lied.

"If you say so. Are you going to put on a disguise and get another one?" Groucho asked.

"Huh? You can do that?"

"Yep. People do it all the time! They say he's really sweet and doesn't mind but I think he's blind. What with those huge shiny eyes and all, there has to be something optically wrong with him."

"Hey! I have huge shiny eyes!" Georgiee argued.

"That's because you're a vampire!" Groucho argued back.

(Did I not mention this? You'll hear about this in my main series 'Leopards Life' which I'm writing pretty damn soon)

"It is not…but I'm intrigued by this disguise idea…"

It wasn't long before Damon Gant had turned up.

Which was basically Georgiee in a costume from the Able Sisters.

"Hello there, old chum! I'm Damon Gant and I'm definitely not Georgiee." The new, suave and mysterious stranger smiled at Groucho.

"Georgiee, that's an awful disguise!" he shouted.

"Aw…"

"And you still have the old present in your pocket!"

Damon Gant took out his shovel and buried the present.

"No I don't."

And he marched straight into the house.

Later that day, Groucho stepped into his house to find out it had been turned into Santa's grotto.

"Oh, hello. I was just storing all my disguises in your house." Georgiee smiled.

"Is this my house? Because when I left this morning to spread Christmas misery, it was manly. Now it's a winter wonderland!" Groucho yelled.

"Ah. It seems that my amazing disguises, and Jingle's stupidity, meant I had too much furniture for my house. So I've taken it upon myself to decorate everyone's houses!"

"The whole of Leopards?!" Groucho gasped.

"Don't be silly. The whole of Leopards, Sunset, Jamworld, Puroro and Jujutown."

"How did you even- why did you- who are you? Because I know Georgiee was slightly insane, well very, but even she wouldn't do this!"

"No, I didn't. Damon Gant did. Seems I got into character a bit too much."

"It does seem that way, yes! And what happened to all my furniture?" Groucho asked.

"Oh that. I sold it to Nook."

"Oh, for the love of good furntiture!"

SO THE WORD OF GANTA CLAUS WAS SPREAD AND THE SUN WENT DOWN OVER THE MOUNTAINS.

Yeah…so that was (possibly) the first 2-in-1 oneshot! History has (possibly) been made!

Yeah so I am making a main series with a STORYLINE! (Screams in distance) Very exciting and whatnot.

So, I have news!You may care or may not, I'm telling you anyway,

Limberg moved from Leopards.

**I have double P.E tomorrow.**

**The P.E teacher is a man.**

**He looks like my best friends dad.**

**That's right, peeps! There are TWO Mikes around town!**

**Yeah so whatevs!**

**See you later!**


	14. New Neighbour

A/N: Been having idea central! AND BY THE WAY! Can you please PM Alikingfan (she in da reviews!) saying "Miss Porters ears :3" just like that. She knows what it means and just put something weird like SEALTITS as the subject. Pwetty, pwetty please? Thanks dudes. So I'm not doing what she requested because that didn't happen in the game, it's something I made up and SANDYDRAGON I don't know who that is…I SO CLUELESS! So I'm doing it about Limberg leaving and a new resident appearing! And PM me if you did PM Alikingfan!

_~# 14 – New resident~_

"Come back here, you damn Birdwing!" Georgiee yelled as she ran after the elusive butterfly. "Oof!"

She had run into a wall. A wall that hadn't been there previously.

"Who's that breaking down my wall?" came an annoyed voice.

A green, angry looking frog walked out and glared at her.

"S-Sorry, sir. It's just that I didn't see the house."

"Are you blind or something? How could you NOT see it? It was right in front of you! People like you make me so mad!" he yelled.

"Hey! I said I was sorry. And, to be honest, I didn't necessarily do anything. If you ask me you've gone a bit over the top." Georgiee argued.

"Just…go away!" he roared and Georgiee ran away before this killer frog murdered her.

"Whoa! Georgiee, why are you running all over the place?" Boone frowned after she ran into him.

"This psycho frog went crazy at me so I ran away." Georgiee frowned. "For such a little dude, he was really mean."

"No one has a go at my best friend on MY watch!" Boone shouted.

"You aren't wearing a watch. Much less can you afford one." Georgiee said but Boone had already marched over to the frog's house.

"Open up, froggy!" he yelled, banging on the door.

"What is it? I'm trying to clean my new house! What is it now?"

"You scared my best friend so OPEN UP!"

The frog opened the door.

"Oh, so you're friends with that hooligan?" the frog drawled.

"Georgiee is no hooligan! You need to watch your mouth!" Boone yelled.

The frog rolled his eyes.

"My name is Prince so if you're going to insult me, there you go. Now that's sorted, go away before I smash your face in."

Boone glared at him.

Meanwhile, Georgiee ran into Puck.

"Hey, Georgiee! You and Boone are invited to dinner at mine today! My friend is coming too and you need to meet him." Puck grinned.

"O-Ok…"

Puck waddled away running into Boone. He gave him the same message and walked away.

"You were right, Georgiee. He is some sort of crazy demon."

"I knew it! Did you duff him up?"

"No. Other way around. He duffed me up. His house is weird. He has piles of Lego and a gecko."

"That…that…skanky skankhole! I hope he drowns in his Lego and his gecko eats him!"

(I texted that to my best friends ex because he's a noob lol)

"Yes. Anyways, I have to go. Need to get ready for dinner." And with that Boone was gone.

Later that evening, Boone and Georgiee were stood outside Puck's house looking posh.

"Maybe his friend is a prince or something. I've never felt so fancy!" Georgiee exclaimed.

"Don't say Prince. You're reminding me of that guy from today." Boone sighed. "And that's because you're as common as muck."

"Aw…"

Puck opened the door with a grin.

"Hey guys! My friend is using the bathroom now so make yourselves comfortable, ok?"

They nodded and sat next to each other. The house looked really special, with tablecloths all over the place.

"Thanks, Puck. Are your friends here?" came a voice.

"Yeah! In here! Georgiee and Boone, ok?"

A green frog walked in. Georgiee and Boone turned round with smiles on their face, which quickly turned to glares.

"You!" they both yelled.

"You!" Prince yelled.

"Who?" Puck yelled.

"SHE disrespected my property!" Prince accused.

"HE scared the beans out of me!" Georgiee retaliated.

"SHE didn't do anything wrong!" Boone shouted.

"HE is right on that one!" Georgiee agreed.

"HE threatened me!" Prince pointed at Boone!

"HE beat me up…which is actually quite embarrassing actually." And Boone surrendered and sat down.

"SHE is an idiot!"

"HE is a bell-end!"

"Georgiee!" Puck shouted at her.

"What? It's true!" Georgiee shouted back.

Boone sighed and broke into Puck's wine cupboard. This was going to be a long, long night.

LATER AND STUFF

Boone lolled about on the table, in a drunken daze as Georgiee and Prince dueted on karaoke.

They had just finished Crazy Beautiful Life by Ke$ha and were moving onto 'I Can Make You Look Fit' by K.K Slider and Nick Helm.

"See? I'm glad that whole fight to the death thing between Prince and Georgiee stopped before she _actually _glassed him." Puck smiled.

But just in case, he hid all the glass bottles.

Prince was wearing his tie on his head and Georgiee had fallen over and was now snoring on the floor.

"What time **hic** is it?" Prince asked, slurring his words.

"Three in the morning." Guessed Boone, not having a clue.

"I'm gonna go **hic**. Bye dudes." And he left.

Georgiee got up and sat next to Boone, both of them were completely sober.

"How long have we pretended to be drunk?" Puck asked.

"Only an hour. He's such a lightweight." Boone tutted.

**Yeah…so…I got drunk of a clear fruit sweet and in Year 6 I made a story called Bob The Cow with one of my best friends :3**

**I dunno I've gone hyper and drawn all over my planner for school. Oh dear…**

**I am so clueless. I don't know who Zipper T is and I didn't even know that (y) meant thumbs up. I kept giving thumbs up to people in cars with my mates whilst waiting for the bus. I didn't even need to take the bus. Lol ive gone craaaaazy XD**


	15. Random day in Leopards

**A/N: No requests again? Well, personally, I think I've been sponging off you guys for too long now and I'm doing to do some ideas off of things that have happened in my town as of late. First, something Pate said to me two days ago. Then followed by some random stuff that people said to me that day.**

_ ~15 – Weird days in Leopards~_

_In Georgiee's POV_

"AGHHH! GCKCKC!"

"Pate." I frowned, sticking my head out of my house window. "That is seriously the weirdest noise I've ever heard. What's up, dude?"

"I've lost my toothbrush and I'M GETTING TOTALLY STRESSED OUT!" Pate screamed at me.

Wow. Pate focuses on the real issues.

"Calm down. Now where did you last see it?" I sighed.

"IF I KNEW THAT I WOULD HAVE FOUND IT, WOULDN'T I?" she roared.

"Alright, Sassypants McGee!"

It seems we got a badass over here.

"I need to go!" and with that she stormed out.

I eventually got out of bed and crawled down the stairs. It had been a long night last night.

"_Magic Chocolate? That's one of my secret numbers! For hipsters' ears only, and that's the word from the bird!" K.K grinned at me._

Oh, K.K. Only you could call me a hipster without getting punched.

As I exited my house, I realised I had mail.

I had two letters. One from TNPS and the other from the town hall.

Iopened the one from TNPS. The first time I saw this name, I thought it stood for "The Nintendo People, Son". Which confused me to no end when they sent me a model of Nook's Cranny.

I opened the one from the town hall and realised it was from the Bank of Nintendo.

Dear Georgiee,

To commemorate saving 100,000 Bells, please accept this gift with our heartiest congratulations! We certainly hope you enjoy it!

BANK OF NINTENDO

The gift was a box of tissues.

There's so many things I could say…but I'm just going to stay silent.

I walked around to museum. I had caught some things the previous night but had been too lazy to donate them. When I got there I bumped into Olivia.

"Hello there, Georgiee! I'm glad to see you're gracing us with your fine presence."

"You're damn right." I added.

"I went to Brewster's café the other day…" she said, a thoughtful look on her face.

"…And?"

"Well, the coffee there is SO satisfying! I felt like I'd been bathing in coffee beans!" she grinned at me.

"Is that right?" I frowned, feeling uncomfortable about where the conversation had headed.

I slowly walked away whilst she walked away, beaming happily.

I went into the museum and after hearing Blathers ramble out a greeting, I handed him a ray.

"Hoo! A ray! Many theorize that rays are distant relatives to sharks…but unlike their fearsome theoretical cousins, rays, with their little grins, are simply adorable, wot wot!"

I beg to differ. I think rays are diabolical as hell. They are plotting.

Secondly, I took out a dinosaur egg I had discovered.

Blathers went off on a ramble and I tuned out.

"…The biggest could be up to 28 inches long, apparently! The biggest egg, I mean,"

I snapped back to attention.

"Yeah cos what else would be _that _long." I smiled before realising that I had said that out loud.

Blathers gave me a very odd look.

After I left, I heard Pate running towards me.

"Saaaaay, Georgiee? You ever get the feeling that you and I are, like, the same person or whatever?" she asked me.

"….No."

"Ok, then! But you know the Happy Room Academy? I start to get really freaked out when I think about them looking in my house!"

"Maybe they'll find your toothbrush though." I replied.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Did I tell you? I can't find my stupid toothbrush and it's REALLY STRESSING ME OUT!" she yelled at me again.

The moment when you realise that some of the residents in your town are wound up wayyy too tightly.

Pate stormed off again and I was left stood there when Boone ran up to me.

"Hey! It's Georgiee, my favourite post-girl! I have a hardcore question to ask you!"

Everything is not hardcore, Boone. Stop saying that it is.

"Look, can you drop this off at Groucho's house? It's real far away and I'm real busy. Help a bro out?"

I agreed and realised that Groucho's house was next door to where I was standing. That lazy fatkidneyed footlicker!"

I went inside and greeted Groucho.

"Hackpth!" he sneezed at me.

"Hello to you too!"

I handed him the present.

"Wow! A present? From Boone! A princess shirt? Oh, Boone. I don't mean to be a jerk but my grandma knits trendier stuff…"

"Just putting "I don't mean to be a jerk" in front of something, doesn't mean you're not being a jerk, you know." I frowned but I was sent away to find Boone.

"What did he say?" Boone grinned at me.

"He didn't even try to be nice." I quoted what Groucho had said and watched Boone's reaction.

"WHAT? Groucho! What does that lump know about a good gift?"

"I sense a rivalry blooming."

Boone stormed off, nearly knocking a frail old lady over.

"Hooo, hello there!" she wheezed at me.

"Who you callin' a ho?" I glared at her. "And no, I don't want your turnips, you crazy old lady?"

I walked away and found Pete just walking around.

"I think some of Phyllis's perfume is rubbing off on some of these letters!" he nodded at me.

It's official. Pete sits alone in the mailroom and sniffs all the letters.

I walked away by this point and met Cousteau at the bus stop.

I wasn't really paying attention but I tuned in after a while.

"Chuck in a whole bottle of bubble stuff. Then pretend you got hit by a warm soapy avalanche!" he grinned at me.

Do not tell me how to take a bath, peasant."

And with that, I left for the city.

When I arrived, I saw Sydney strolling around.

Wait, how did you get in the city? You live in my town.

_How did you escape?_

"Hi there, sunshine!" she smiled at me. "There's so much you can do with furniture other than just decorate your house! Press A to use it!"

YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.

Then, I met a girl called Chrissy, a pink rabbit.

"It's autumn already, and that means it's time to shine up my summer sandals!"

She was literally so disgustingly cute and sweet I felt like I should have been vomiting candyfloss.

By the time I got home from the city, it was dark and I saw Margie.

"You never know when someone might be in the darkness, waiting to leap out at you!"

"Wow, Margie, thanks for freaking me out."

Pate ran up to me, as I was ready to go to bed.

"Whoa, Georgiee! Are you going out? At THIS hour? Wow, you're totally brave!"

~~It was only 9PM~~

* * *

**Not really a story but seriously all this happened.**

**Ok, so. Here's a little story I'd like to tell you all.**

**TI just happened to be walking on by Sydney. She got an exclamation mark above her head and ran to talk to me. As soon as she got near me, my nunchuk decided to be like: NOPE. And spazz out, sending me on an endless run away from Sydney.**

**I must admit, that scene had me laughing for 5 minutes straight. It's as if my nunchuk KNEW I hate Sydney!**

**Oh, and I had friends over on my DS. They were blood chanting IN MY HOUSE. Then, Joey came over on my DS too. He said : Wow it's like being in our own little world! He seemed…lost. Then, Pecan gave me a cardboard box as a reward for something.**

**EXCUSE YOU.**

**(This note is full of random shit lol)**


	16. Gracie's interview

**A/N: 41 REVIEWS?! ASDFGHJKADGHFSGF! You guys are easily entertained, you know that? Anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I have NEVER had this many reviews on one story. It's my most popular one :) followed by 100 Things. Anyway, YOU CAN REQUEST! I'M JUST GOING TO DO MORE OF MY OWN IDEAS INSTEAD OF BEING A LAZER. I came up with this idea in detention. It's where I have my best ideas don't you know. Anyway you can request so please do.**

_~16 – Fauna Magazine~_

Gracie walked into the office of Fauna Magazine. It was quite swanky, which displeased Gracie quite a lot. Especially because she didn't like anyone's office to be better than her own.

Which was stupid because she didn't even have an office.

"Gracie, darling. How are you, Hun?" came the smarmy voice of Patricia Husk, the CEO of Fauna Magazine. She was a beautiful husky in a business suit with bright blue eyes.

Gracie resisted the idea of snarling at her and smiled as fakely as she could.

"I'm doing perfect, sweetie. _By that I mean I'm doing better than you…_" she muttered under her breath.

"What was that honey?"

"Oh, nothing, sweetie. Anyway, I need my star-studded interview. I am so terribly busy. You would not believe it, pumpkin." Gracie smiled smugly.

"Oh, did I not tell you, honeybee?" Patricia smiled at her. "I'm doing the interview. Do you mind, chickadee?"

"Oh, great. I mean great, dear! That would be fabulous." Gracie lied.

Patricia gave her the fakest grin known to man and lead her down a corridor. It was lined with office after office of hard-working females writing about things that no one really cared about. Like next summers fashions, the greatest places to go on holiday, recipes that help you get slim but look like sick and probably taste like it too…it was all there.

Patricia opened a door that practically screamed 'I'M SO FLIPPING IMPORTANT' (Knowing Patricia, that was probably the idea, Gracie thought to herself). The office was void of colour. There were white, slightly sparkling, tiles for the walls and brown wood made the floor. It had a black furry rug covering it. All the furntiture was black, glittering marble apart from everything on the furniture, which was a brilliant red. Just like the curtains, which were very big because a huge window was one of the walls.

"So, Gracie…how has your business been since we last met?" Patricia smiled at her. If Gracie weren't so used to Patricia, she'd have shuddered. She'd seen friendlier smiles on the common scum she called her beloved customers.

"Soaring, honeybee. And how has your magazine been?" Gracie retaliated.

"Just…fabulous, darling." Patricia said, letting a frown creep across her face for less than a second. She should of known Gracie would use the 'Assault' card.

"Good for you. After all that "assault" business, I was scared your magazine would crumble into the ground. After all, didn't you punch the editor of Ms Nintendique at the Fashion Awards last month? I do remember that ceremony. I won six awards." Gracie gloated.

Patricia glared at her.

"Didn't you get fined for polluting the waters of Leopards by dropping all your tires in the sea?" she retaliated.

Gracie stopped drinking her coffee, mid-sip. She glared at the bottom of the mug for a second before slowly lifting her head up.

"A small crime I think you'll find. Not as bad as punching a poor defenceless lady in the nose."

"Poor and defenceless? Psh." Patricia scoffed.

"She was 74 years old. What was she going to do? Hit you with her wooden leg?" Gracie spat.

"Do you want a fight or something because I will gladly wrestle you to the floor."

Gracie let out a small chuckle.

"I'd like to see you try, bitch."

Patricia let out a roar and pounced on her foe.

"Hello, Ms Patricia." The small coffee girl, Penny a young meerkat, smiled as she brought in tea.

"Hello, Penny." Patricia nodded back.

"When are you going to let her out?" Penny asked, gesturing to the small safe that Gracie had been locked in for the last hour and a half.

"I'm not letting her out until she says sorry."

"Never!" came a muffled shout from inside the safe.

Patricia glared at the safe as if she could suddenly develop laser eyes and blast through it.

"If I may ask," Penny frowned. "What did she even do?"

"_It was back in high school. There was a fashion competition and I was favourite to win. After all, I was the most beautiful girl at Vasquez High School."_

"That's a bit big-headed."

"Shut up, Gracie. _Anyway, I had just finished the catwalk when suddenly, this girl walked in. She was odd looking at slightly deformed but she was wearing fabulous clothes. She won the competition. Slowly, my popularity started to sink and this ugly…thing started to become the most popular girl in school. It wasn't fair! The girl accomplished all my dreams and became a designer. I became the creator of the smuggest magazine in the world."_

"And…?" Penny asked, for she hadn't been listening.

"That ugly, deformed, odd looking thing was I." Gracie declared from the safe, a little too proudly.

"And you haven't changed a bit." Scowled Patricia.

**Detentions lead to such creative worlds of imagination and stuff. YOU CAN REQUEST SO DO SO!**


	17. COCONUTTER! DUN DUN DUN

**A/N: Hey, Georgie! What the hell happened to you?! I can explain. My laptop is being a gooseberry and, therefore, it has broken. I blame myself basically because it's my fault. But I'm sorry so have some of my crunchy chocolate flan and we'll forget about it. You're still not giving me any ideas? Guys! This much thinking can't be good for me! Anyway, between getting harassed by Sydney who seems to have taken a liking towards my toaster, I play Wild World as well as City Folk. One reason is because Sydney isn't in it. It's a oneshot about something Lobo said to me in my WW town of JamWorld. Also...**

**Redd talks about the fuzz tracking him down and sets loads of passwords and stuff but he sets his tent up right in front of the town hall. **_**Right in front of it.**_

_~#17 – The Coconutter~_

"Who are you?" the suspicious blue wolf asked the bright eyed girl before him.

"My name's Georgie!" the pink haired girl replied.

"Ah. Wait...PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD! THIS IS JAMWORLD SECURITY! I know exactly who you are! You're the Coconutter, a heinous criminal who is wanted for numerous accounts of Grand Theft Coconut!"

"Agh! How did you know?" Georgie gasped before running off into the night.

(I always say that when someone says that to me XD)

**Later that night...**

Kapp'n got out his keys and put it in the taxi's keyhole. It was late at night and he was slightly worried about getting attacked but he was nearly inside his taxi so he would probably be ok.

"Give me the keys or you'll get hurt!" the masked bandit that was the Coconutter yelled at the terrified kappa.

"Agh, she has a coconut!" Kapp'n yelled as he unwillingly gave her the keys.

Brandishing the coconut, Georgie made her way into the taxi and put the keys in the ignition. The taxi came into life and sped away down the street, knocking over various pedestrians.

"Well," sighed Kapp'n, putting on a bus driver cap. "Looks like I'll have to be a bus driver now."

**Mother of God, what did I just write? Do you see? This is what happens when you don't give me ideas.**

**I-I see, GeorgiexxxSuarez. I see.**

**Does this even deserve to go on my list? I really don't think so myself but after all the ideas I had this was the best one. And from the general awfulness of this one, you can guess how bad the others were. SO PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS!**


	18. Halloween Randomness

A/N: I have overcome the problem of not having a laptop and started to write on my phone! I have three stories (Halloween, Shrunk and Wisp). I do know Wisp and have saved him from clowns many a time. We're both scared off them. Ok, before it starts, this has swearing in it and is an accurate representation of when me and my friend gets hyper!

~#17 - Halloween~

Georgiee stepped out into the crisp autumn air. She was in her witch costume and felt oddly different about herself. Like she really was a witch. She wasn't of course but holidays like Halloween always had this odd, and slightly annoying, effect on her.

"Oh my God! This is so fucking good!" came a high pitched shriek.

(Please ignore how wrong that sounds XD)

Walking over, Georgiee saw Pate rolling around in a bunch of red tulips.

"What the hell are you doing?" Georgiee frowned at her. Pate was actually wearing a Mario costume but it was covered in so much grass and sweet wrappers that you would have to take multiple glances to tell.

"I fucking love NookCandy!" Pate replied.

"…what?"

"It's NookCandy, the sweeties loved by fucking everyone!" Pate told her, before rolling away into a river. Unfortunately, they were on the top level which meant Pate would be toppling over a certain waterfall in about five minutes.

Trying to look as innocent as she could without casting more suspicion on herself, Georgiee left and soon ran into Puck, who was dressed as a rabbit.

"Hey Puck. I think Pate's died." Georgiee informed him. "Please don't tell me you're sugar high too. Or normal high. I really, really couldn't tell."

Puck gave her a confused look.

"Wanna hear something about NookCandy?"

"What's that?"

"I could eat it every fucking day."

And with that, he ran off, found Olivia who was dressed as a Greek goddess, and chased her into the sea.

Georgiee looked around to see if anyone else had seen this event, and when she realised she was alone, she ran away. Praying for a sane face, she ran up to Margie's house. Marie was in her pirate costume and she was currently tangled up in some weeds and brambles with her watering can sellotaped to her head.

"It's alright." Georgiee muttered to herself. "Maybe Puck or Pate or even Olivia did this. Maybe Margie isn't insane."

Margie looked up at her, watering can glinting in the moonlight.

"I'm a fucking gardener."

Georgiee looked up and walked off. This was getting weird. She heard a pattering of footsteps behind her. Fearing another sugared-up maniac, she turned around and saw Boone.

"Georgiee! Everyone in town has massive sugar highs!" Boone told her. "I don't eat sweets because I have to keep my wonderful muscles in shape so apart from you, I'm probably the only sane person in Leopards."

"Oh no. Wait, what about Tom Nook? Or Groucho. They're boring so they might of just locked themselves in their respective homes and hid from all the happiness. Or insanity. I'm not really sure what's going on here anymore."

"No I think it's reached everyone. Why aren't you affected?"

"I don't eat gelatine, the thing NookCandy and stuff like that, is made from. I saw it get made on Supersize VS Superskinny." Georgiee told him as they walked to Groucho's house. They opened the door to find Groucho pouring NookCandy into a mixer. He switched it on and watched as the blades turned round.

"Oh shit this is going to be so good." he turned around to see a shocked Boone and Georgiee stood in his doorway. "I once found the lost city of El Dorado. Turns out it was NookCandy."

Boone slammed the door shut and they ran away to Georgiee's house. However, as soon as they arrived they heard Puck cry:

"NookCandy pool party! Yeah!"

Boone and Georgiee looked over to see most of the townsfolk failing around in the river. Then there was a splash and Pate finally fell down the waterfall, accidentally torpedoing Mint. Pretty quickly a fight broke out.

"Oh dear." Boone commented.

"I don't know about you," Georgiee said as she walked into her house. "But I'm going to sit this out in my Safety Cupboard." Boone nodded and ran inside with her. They had only just got through the door when Sydney was thrown against the window. She slowly slid down the window, a soggy trail of purple fur in her wake.

Georgiee opened her Cabin Wardrobe. She got inside and shouted "Boone, this is the Safety Cupboard. Get in!"

Boone was about to protest when the front door started to shake and rattle.

"Sugar Zombies!" Boone gasped. "Oh great. Just when this oneshot couldn't get any weirder, there's suddenly random zombies that have had too much sugar wandering around."

"Can't have that."

"No we can not." Boone looked around the room for a solution. His eyes set upon Georgiee's Mario cannon. "We'll use that!"

"We will not! It took me ages to shoot that down from that balloon!"

"How on earth does a balloon hold up a giant cannon?" Boone frowned. Despite Georgiee's protests, he set up the cannon so it faced the door.

"Let's go!" he grinned.

"I'm nervous." Georgiee frowned.

"So you should be."

The clawing from the other side of the door finally stopped. The banging subsided and everything became deathly quiet. Boone straightened up. "Oh. Well it seems that-"

"Brains! Brains!" came a chorus of the zombified villagers.

"Brian! Brian!" Pate cried out. Olivia smacked her round the head.

"Brains, Pate! Brains! You're not doing it right!"

"Drains! Drains!"

"YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!"

Boone scrambled into the Safety Cupboard beside Georgiee who slammed the door shut. Various cries of 'brains' drifted through the door.

"Wait a sec." Georgiee frowned and she opened the door. "Did you guys say you were looking for brains?"

"Brains! Brains!"

"You've got the wrong place here, zombies. Try the library or something." Georgiee continued.

"Oh, sorry." Groucho apologised.

"Ooh, ooh!" Boone grinned. "Tell him to try Tom Nook's!"

Georgiee grinned back and turned to the zombies again.

"Go to Nook's shop. He's a right smart-arse."

"Cheers!"

This is a very accurate representation of what happens when me and my friends get a sugar high. We swear a lot and slowly go into a sugar coma and then become zombified. It's a wonderful process. I know this was very random but I do actually have a Safety Cupboard and I recommend you get one too.


	19. The aftermath of Halloween

Ok so this is a follow up of the last oneshot!

Pate got up from the floor and wiped the mud off her Mario dungarees. She looked around to see she'd been trapped by holes.

"Dammit!" she cried. "Let me out!"

There was a groan beside her and Olivia, in a now tatty Greek goddess outfit, got up as well. She was also trapped by holes. Everywhere, villagers were waking up in ruined costumes, trapped by holes and wondering what the hell happened last night.

"You went crazy, swore a lot, had a pool party in the river and turned into zombies." Boone told them, arms folded and looking strict.

"And then, you went to Nook's, tried to eat his brains and when that failed, you set fire to a tree." Georgiee continued for him. She had got changed out of her witch costume and was now back in her Cat Top and halo. Her blue hair was in a bun and was shining in the morning sun.

"Wait, wait, wait." Groucho frowned. "Why don't we remember this? It all seems pretty crazy to just forget it all."

"Because," Boone frowned, "You had a massive sugar high."

There came groans from everywhere and cries from Olivia.

"My diet is ruined!" she screamed.

"Pretty much. And we've booked you in for rehab today so you better get on the next bus before it leaves." Georgiee instructed.

"You tryna make me go to rehab and I go no, no, no." Puck sang.

"He's singing! He's still high! Someone do something!" Boone cried.

Georgiee took out her shovel, and with an action a cricket player would be proud of, swung it and hit Puck square in the face. He shook a little bit before landing in one of the holes that trapped him.

"Well done, Georgiee." Boone nodded at her.

The animals starting slowly tripping their way around the holes or covering them with ground with their feet. They sadly made thee way to the bus stop to go to rehab.

"Wait…" Boone asked Georgiee "Did you dig up the landmines this morning or are they still there?"

"Erm..."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Oh dear."


	20. Ressetti

Hello! To Sandydragon: I do that! I do it to Sydney all the time because I hate her. I don't even know why. I just do.

In this one, Ressetti gets some news from the doctors and tries to calm down. Will he succeed? Probably not.

Make sure you read my end author's note. I found out something today and really needed to share it.

~#20- Ressetti at the doctors~

Ressetti sat impatiently at the doctor's office as he waited for his appointment. Next to him was a sleeping old man and his wife who was reading a magazine. One the other side was two kids, laughing. Ressetti hated laughter. He restrained the need to kick the children in the head and instead watched the little TV in the corner. Little messages about hygiene and certain illnesses popped up. Ressetti scoffed. If he owned a doctors…place, he would show messages about the importance of saving. Or his favourite show 'Leg Mash!' a show about people breaking their legs in real accidents.

"Mr Ressetti, Doctor Fauna is ready to see you now." came the woman from the reception desk.

With an impatient huff, Ressitti sat up and walked into the doctor's office. Doctor Fauna, a pretty deer, was sat there waiting for him with a fake smile. She really hated having to talk to the angry mole. He really scared her.

"So, Mr Ressetti. Have you been keeping calm like I told you to?" she asked.

"I'm tryin' to but there's this one punk, Georgiee who is really tryin' her luck." he growled.

'So scary.' Fauna thought. "Mr Ressetti, you have to stop getting worked up. You could die." she scolded him.

"Yeah I know but I swear this punk just does this to wind me up. I swear if I ever get my hands on her I'll…I'll-"

"Mr Ressetti!" Fauna gasped. "It's that type of talk that is probably making this worse!"

Ressetti made a mental note to calm down. Fauna frowned.

"I'm sorry, doc, but it just all gets on top of me." the mole apologised.

"It's alright. I've got some tablets here for you. They should stop some of the anger." Fauna explained.

Ressetti nodded and gratefully took the pills.

That night, Georgiee stepped cautiously out of her house. The day before, her Wii remote had completely spazzed out and she'd had no choice to reset. Ressetti was going to pop out of his little hole and eat her brains.

"Hey…punk." came a slurred voice.

Turning around slowly, Georgiee saw a happy looking Ressetti staring at her.

"Did you, like, reset last night?"

"Y-Yes." she whimpered. "My Wii remote spazzed out and I had no choice."

"Wow, sounds crazy bro. Like totally cray." Ressetti nodded.

'Ressetti's tripping balls.' Georgiee thought. "Yeah, it was."

Ressetti nodded again.

"Thought so, girl. Now I gotta go and watch Leg Mash and SpongeBob SquarePants. Tatty Byes!" and with that he was gone, leaving Georgiee stood there in the night wondering what on Earth had just happened.

Yeah so that's it. My 20th oneshot!

You might not want to read on if you're a fan of the seemingly innocent The Wizard of Oz. Type 'suicidal munchkin' into YouTube and see why - but brave yourself, it's the eeriest clip you'll ever see. In the original VHS edition of the film, go to the scene where Dorothy skips along the yellow brick road with Scarecrow and Tin Man. Look carefully in the background, in the woods, something incredibly chilling can be seen hanging from one of the trees - a small human-like figure, which unless pointed out is very easily missed.

According to rumours, the dark shape, softly swaying, on what looks like a bit if rope, is the dead body of one of the munchkins. Urban legends suggest that the actor hanged himself after sinking into a deep depression when he fell deeply in love with one of his co-stars but the feeling wasn't mutual.

It's been removed from the re-mastered DVD. Producers insist is was a large bird but what I want to know is why a large bird would be hanging from a tree, why it's lifeless body would be gently swinging side to add or why it appears to have tiny human feet…

I NEED OCS FOR MY ANIMAL CROSSING STORY! PLEASE?!


	21. Sydney

I don't know where my Internet has gone :( so I've had to write this at school, stood outside. Because I use my phone I just said I was texting (lie) and they knew I wasn't and kept asking to read it. I was all like 'NO' and they started trying to kill me. Fun times at my school. This actually started out as a story about Champ, my new monkey resident, but instead it turned into a hate fest about Sydney. I really don't care either way.

~#21 - Sydney~

Based on a true story.

Georgiee ran down the ramp as fast as her legs could carry her. She had got the last wheat field she needed and now she would have a whole floor of wheat. It didn't exactly match the spooky series she had downstairs but She liked it anyway. It made her feel like a farmer. Georgiee paused when she came to her house. There she was, purple head bobbing up and down. Filled with irrational annoyance, Georgiee took out her net and walked over.

"Oh, Georgiee! How great to see you! Isn't this a beautiful- ARGH!"

"No! Everything isn't beautiful! Stop saying it is!" Georgiee yelled as she repeatedly swung the net at Sydney's head. "What are you doing near my house? Are you stealing my wheat?"

"No! What wheat?" Sydney asked.

"Do not question me!"

Eventually, Sydney passed out from the beatings and Georgiee was forced to hide her in a nearby tree. She stood by the tree whistling innocently.

Champ walked along and stopped as her saw the scene.

"Did you beat up Sydney and hide her in that tree?"

"No."

"You did, didn't you?"

"Only a little."

Champ furrowed his brow in a way to suggest irritation.

"What have I told you about doing that?"

"Not a lot. You've only just moved into town and haven't really experienced this type of situational friendship."

Champ walked away and made a mental note to stay away from trees just in case he was squished by falling Sydneys.

Georgiee shook the tree and watched as Sydney fell and landed in a nearby hole.

"Why are you doing this to me?" wailed Sydney spitting out dirt and worms.

"I don't know. I just don't like you."

"Fair enough." Sydney got out of the hole and left.

Later that day, Georgiee went up the bus stop ramp. Sydney was in place. Basically she'd had to speak to Sydney, which wasn't the most horrifying thing, because she actually had to apologise to her. All her beliefs…gone.

There was a cause though. Now Sydney was stood in the path ofthe bus, just waiting to be squooshed. 'That'll teach her for doing whatever it was she did.'

Georgiee prepared the bus to come, everything was ready…

"The bus won't come if there's someone in its path!"

"Why the hell not?!" Georgiee yelled at the randomly talking bus stop. "What is the point of having a bus if it won't run anyone over?"

It took many more tries before Georgiee finally accepted that she couldn't run over Sydney.

"Well, that's the end of that. Move Sydney! I need to buy a probably forged painting from Crazy Redd!"

"The sun is so wonderful today! You should get some sunshine in your life (even though it's night time)! Press up on the controller to do just that!"

"Shut up, Sydney! That is literally all you say!" Georgiee raged back.

"I smell like poo!"*

With a yell, Georgiee leapt from the bus stop and repeatedly hit Sydney.

While this massacre was going on, Champ was taking a leisurely stroll to block out the scenes he'd seen that morning. He looked over in the direction of the Town Gate to see yet another beating.

Champ put his head down and walked away.

*This is Sydney's greeting because I'm a very mature young lady

Can I just say that this is very OOC for me. I don't randomly beat up animals. In fact, I think I'm very nice to them even when they ask me to catch a shark in the middle of fregin autumn *cough*PATE*cough* and I put up with all their pointless dramas. I just don't like Sydney.

She moved into my town and instantly got ill. Which I interpreted as her saying Leopards is dirty. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW LEOPARDS IS A SAFE TOWN WHERE YOU CAN WALK FREELY WITHOUT BEING MURDERED OR KIDNAPPED BY SOMALIAN PIRATES.

I just want to say thank you to all my reviewers! It's cheesy but I never thought I'd get nearly 55 reviews on one story when I joined the site. I didn't think I'd get any at all actually so thanks! It's actually amazing.

Thanks to Leafclaw, Sandydragon, EmoEvee, Truebeque (sorry if I spelt it wrong), Shimmer'sFreckles, SheepPenguin244 and anyone's who ever read it ever.:.


	22. The sad life of Bert in diary form

MY INTERNET IS BACK! IT'S BACK, IT'S BACK, IT'S BACK, IT'S BACK! IT'S BAAAAAAAACK!

(If I got the oneshot number wrong, I'm sorry. I don't even know what day it is lately). It's a bit different, I know, but oh well. I'm not doing one about Thanksgiving because

1). I'm British and therefore don't celebrate it

2). It wasn't special it was just an opportunity for new furniture

3). It was quite boring. After getting all the furniture, I delivered knives and forks, hoping to watch Franklin getting killed and eaten by savage villagers but instead I learned about a shady figure hiding by Groucho's house. I assumed it was the ghost of Jimmy Savile. Turns out it was Franklin.

~#22 - The Diary of Bert Timer~

Dear Diary,

Today all the kids at school picked on me again because of my hat. They say its an old person's hat. They threw eggs at me. I cried.

Love from Bert x

Dear Diary,

This one kid called Frillard made everyone laugh by imitating by bad back. I laughed with them and I felt involved 3 maybe they're going to accept me now?

Love from Bert x

Dear Diary,

Today was the worst day of my life! All the kids copied my laugh and beat me up with my own cane. I'll show them one day! I'm gonna become mayor of a town and then I'm going to kidnap them and lock them in my basement and force them to participate in events and then I'm going to stick their heads on spikes and decorate the Town Hall with the heads! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Love from Bert x

Dear Diary,

I ran into school and threatened all the kids with death. Miss Porter called the local asylum and they tried to steal me! So I started swearing and started saying I was gonna kill everyone and then I was going to kill their mums. What if I can't participate in the Pony Club anymore?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Love from Bert x

Dear Diary,

I escaped the asylum today! I've changed my name to 'Tortimer' and my evil plan will soon commence! I've been in there so long I've got a beard now. I'm keeping it because it will bring all the girls to the yard. I've heard of a town called 'Leopards' that needs a mayor. Soon.

Love from Tortimer A.K.A Bert x

Everyone grimaced at the town hall. It was covered in spears, each with a human head stuck at the top. Blood dropped down into various puddles that now covered the paving.

"Mr Mayor, I'm not too sure about these decorations." Pelly frowned.

"Art Deco is an art, Pelly. You wouldn't understand." The old man assured her before turning around. "No one will ever be mean to me again! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE HORF!"

***************************************?**********************

So I think the mayor is a serial murderer and he spent some time in an asylum and his real name is Bert. I wouldn't be the first and I won't be the last.

REQUEST, REVIEW AND…RAWR!

(Also, if you like Harry Potter, please like a page I'm a part of 'Loony Lovegood'. I'm Admin Sydney and it would mean a lot! We only have 29 likes at the minute :( so please?!)


	23. Whenever I like anyone on AC or irl

I came up with this idea in detention for glueing a Custard Cream to a 'NO FOOD OR DRINK POSTER' in R.E. don't ask - SOCKS. Until the detention, this was me.

Be me

Be happy to update again

Twirl around my room

Think of something to write

Think of absolutely nothing

Think of what to write

Think of nothing

So we have to settle for something not as good as I was anticipating. Screw it…when I come up with something…IT SHALL BE GRAND! Expect updates more often…very more often…for I am back and I'm actually going to do really good stuff (by my standards). I know right it's a miracle. By the way, this has a new OC called Robert who is based on someone (except irl "Robert" doesn't have a man-purse). Kayleigh is my real best friend.

~#23 - Whenever I love someone on Animal Crossing~

"Quick Kayleigh!" I shouted to my best friend (I hope she doesn't mind me calling her that) as she slowly skipped through the gates.

"What's the rush?" She asked.

"I have a crush in this town and I need to show you!" I told her.

"What's his name?"

"His name is Robert. He's a human who moved in a week ago. I'll show you."

We walked along the paths until we reached Robert's house. I knocked and we waited. I knocked again. Silence.

"Is he out or is he just rude?" Kayleigh frowned at me.

"Probably out. He is quite shy though." I replied, quick to defend him.

After looking around town, we gave up and decided to go to the museum. After a lot of work, I'd nearly completed the whole fossil exhibit and I was ready to show it off. I didn't have any exotic bugs and I had about six or seven paintings so it was mainly my fish and fossil collection I wanted to show off.

I was rather tired when I'd finished showing her around. There were way too many stairs in the fossil room and I needed to sit down or I'd pass out on the floor.

We went to The Roost and sat down together at a table. Soon, Kayleigh pulled out a random packed lunch. I frowned at it.

"Is that Nutella…on bread?"

"Yes. Duh. How else would you eat it?"

"…"

I thought back to that morning when I was eating it out of the jar and eventually started rolling around on the floor, tipping it over my face.

"Actually I have no clue."

"Hm."

Then, just at that moment, Robert walked in. I dropped my spoon with a *clink*.

"Hey, Kayleigh. There he is. That's Robert." I whispered.

I expected her to whisper back her thoughts but instead:

"THAT'S ROBERT? THE ONE WITH THE TIE?" She shouted as loud as I could've possibly imagined her to be. "THE ONE WITH THE WEIRD SWOOPING HAIRCUT-"

"Sssh!"

"AND THE FUNKY MAN PURSE? THATS THE ONE? THATS THE ONE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?"

There was silence for a few seconds.

"…It was…" I wimpered.

The conversations with Kayleigh about Nutella and "Robert" are all real except I saw "Robert" in ASDA so there were lots of people there so EVERYONE HEARD. Especially "Robert". And she always seems to have a packed lunch (?) so that's why that was there. This wasn't too great but hopefully I will think of something SUPER-DUPER AMAZING (by my standards) and everyone will be crying.


	24. Nook's new girlfriend

So I started this up again! Sorry for the hiatus but I have been SO busy. I've also been suffering from Other-Story-Syndrome. Or, in this case, multiple story syndrome. Anyway, this is what I have achieved since I last updated:

Found myself a boyfriend

Moved house

Find out my dog is fat and dying (which I already knew)

Nothing much really

*People, can you please-please-please request because another reason for me going MIA was because of no ideas, so requests are necessary!*

(My boyfriend taught me how to spell that, never could before)

* * *

~#24 - Prank~

Tom Nook stood by the counter, grinning at his store. The amount of customers was astounding and he hasn't even began to count the money he had earned; and that was very rare for him. He loved to count money. And roll around in it in the privacy of his room.

Soon, the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" Tom Nook answered. "This is Tom Nook speaking."

"Helloooooo, Tommy-poo! You look sexy in your new suit." Came a high-pitched, raspy voice. It sent shivers down Tom's spine.

"WHO IS THIS?!" He yelled down the phone, causing everyone in the shop to look up in surprise. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I lov-"

"NO! NO! NO!" Tom rudely interrupted. "GO AWAY! DON'T RING ME AGAIN!"

With that, Tom threw the phone down.

Everyday for the past week or so, he'd gotten phone calls from a random…woman…possibly. She'd been declaring her undying love for him and saying all sorts of stuff to him. It had all started when the woman had asked him to rescue her cat which was stuck in a tree.

This simple task had soon turned into a full-on quest which involved Nook resisting the charms of the three vampire seductresses, fighting a dragon before battling the demons of Vla'ar in order to get the ladder to rescue the cat from the tree.

It was at point that Nook realised he was being tricked. Ever since, the woman kept ringing. She kept asking him to marry him or ask him to do generally inappropriate things to her.

The phone rang again. Nook knew it was probably that nightmare woman however, just in case it wasn't, he answered.

"Hello-"

"I stole some of your boxers from your room! They smell SO good!"

"AGH!" Nook screamed, slamming the phone down.

For the next hour, he didn't get any calls. However, Petey walked in brandishing a package and a letter.

"For you, Mr Nook." He smiled.

"Why, thank you Petey. Who is this from?"

"Dunno. Pelly found it at the bottom of the mail cart. Addressed to you but with no sender name. Anyway, bye." And he was gone.

Nook nervously tore the letter.

"Please don't be her. Please don't be her. Please don't be her. Please don't be- OHH!" He shouted in disappointment.

The letter read:

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEUOU

In anguish, Nook tore the package open to find a pair of his boxers. Wrapped inside the boxers, was a pink lacy thong with a note:

These are mine, they smell like me, TREASURE THEM FOREVER!

Nook, at a complete loss, sunk to the floor and cried. He wept and wept and wept; despite the fact that the shop was still full.

Meanwhile, at the town hall, Mayor Tortimer giggled and clapped in delight as Petey returned after presumably sending his letter to Nook.

"HEH HEH HOORF!" He laughed.

He looked up to see Pelly stood in front of him, looking less than pleased.

"Mister Mayor, this has to stop! For two weeks now you've been bullying Mr Nook. It ends now!"

Tortimer glared at her, sulkily, as she returned to her desk.

Picking up the phone, he dialled her number.

"Hello, this is Pelly-"

"I LOVE YOU. I NEED YOU TO RESCUE MY DARLING CATS, TIDDLES AND LULU. THEY ARE TRAPPED IN A TREE AND-"

"Mayor Tortimer! Is this how you spend your days?! You were elected to help Leopards prosper-"

"OH QUIETEN DOWN, PELLY! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!" He shouted back before slamming down the phone is disgust.

* * *

GUYS I NOTICED WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS THAT TOM NOOK AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE THE SAME NAME! GUYS I AM OFFICIALLY GOING OUT WITH TOM NOOK! GUYS, GUYS, GUYS-

Ok shush Georgie stop being hyper and weird just because you're a bit excited because you. Actually. Finished. A. Motherducking. Chapter. For. Once. In. Your. Life.


	25. WESTERN

So I'm not dead. I'm just here. Alive. A lot has happened since I randomly disappeared. 1) I broke up with my boyfriend! 2) I dyed my hair purple! 3) My mum had her baby!

* * *

~#25 - Western~

"There ain't enough room in this town for the both of us, Redd." Tom Nook told his rival.

"Took tha words right outta ma mouth, raccoon." Crazy Redd spat.

A small crowd had gathered around the pair. The men in waistcoats, flat caps and trousers with suspenders, drinking ale. The women had slutty dresses on because they were all single and desperate.

"Wench! Get me more ale from the tavern!" Boone shouted at Georgiee, who was wearing her brown hair loose and had a red dress.

"Naw! Git your own!" She shrieked back.

"I love how we all have accents." Puck smiled next to him.

"Shut up, Puck."

Redd and Nook hovered their fingers above their guns.

"This will be a normal showdown." Tortimer, the sheriff, instructed. "Y'all take ten paces, then shoot."

The two nodded and eyed each other, evilly.

"You're going down, Nook." Redd scowled.

"We'll see about that." His nemesis replied.

"Ok, gentlemen, prepare yerselves." Tortimer instructed. "Ten…"

They took the first step away from each other.

"Nine…"

The assembled crowd started to join in.

"Eight…"

Tension began to rise.

"Seven…"

The wind whistled ominously.

"Six-"

**BANG!**

Everyone gasped as Nook fell to the floor. They all looked to Redd who was holding a smoking gun.

"Now, Redd!" Sherif Tortimer scolded, "Them's ain't the rules and you know it. We have to get to ZERO before you can shoot!"

Redd let out a huge sigh, his plan having been foiled again.

"That crafty lekker!" Georgiee cried.

Everyone else joined in.

"Cruel beast!" Boone shouted.

"Wild animal!" Puck agreed.

"Dishonest fool!" Vanessa, a girl from a nearby town added.

"Alright, alright! That's enough!" Tortimer shouted. He turned to Redd, "Now, Redd. You cheated so that makes Nook win by default."

"Oh no." Redd complained.

Tortimer lifted Nook's body by a limp paw.

"Three cheers for our winner!"

"YAY! YAY! YAY!"

And the sun started to set in Leopards. Good had been killed by evil but evil cheated so good won by default, just how it should be. Everyone went to the tavern and got absolutely drunk. Everyone forgot there had been a showdown at all, so they were very surprised in the morning when they woke up on the street and Nook was laying there. Redd had been tied up, thrown into a barrel and the barrel thrown into a river. Because everyone was pissed out of their minds and would probably feel very guilty (and very hungover) when they awoke from their drunken comas.

And as Tortimer sat contently outside his sheriff's office, completely unaware of all the brawls he was sat in the middle off, he stared into the sunset.

"I think today went very well, all things considered."

And taking a swig of ale, he fell asleep in his chair, only to be woken up two hours later by a horse licking his face.

* * *

Next chapter is a request from a Guest! So's the one after that! Please can you start to request again, guys, I am awful at coming up with ideas. All will be done unless I have no idea who the character is.

Peace off! :P

GeorgieSuso xxx


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